Calling: Remembering the Simplicity

Calling is a mysterious thing. People talk about it like everyone has one particular thing in life they are destined to do, like you must find this one thing or you’ll miss out on your whole purpose. That you’ll miss out on experiencing life to the fullest.

I’ve always wrestled with my calling in life, with what I was designed to do & be.

I had a dream to open a community center.

I thought about being an opera singer.

I considered going into human services.

I pursued a degree in Family Ministry.

But through it all, I always knew I ultimately had a desire to impact people.

I was in Georgia a few weeks ago over Christmas. One morning, I was driving alone, following my husband as we were driving two cars to his sister’s house. As I cranked Sigur Ros (one of my latest fave listens :) and reflected, a sudden sense of clarity began to emerge from the cloud of questions I have been wrestling with for the last few years.

As a reflected, I recognized a new thread running through the years of my life: a passion for equipping God’s people. A passion not just to make a difference with my life, but to empower others to make a difference and to experience life to the fullest God intended.

My passion for vocational ministry was confirmed once again in my heart & mind, but now I have other questions.

Now I wrestle with wanting to not just have one question answered, but to have them ALL answered. So now I am asking questions like “are there particular areas I am passionate about equipping Christ followers in?” and “are there particular ways I am passionate about & gifted in that I can do this through?”

These are all good questions to ask, but maybe there's a bigger picture that I forget about sometimes. Maybe there's a Person involved I forget about sometimes.

Recently, a gifted executive coach I know made a comment that reminded me of the fact that I don’t have to know the answers to all these questions to experience what God designed me for. He pointed out that this whole idea of calling in relation to vocation and fulfillment really didn’t come about until the last 100 years. Before that, calling was a much broader idea: we are called to love God with everything we are and to love people.

Yes, God designs us with unique gifts, passions, and opportunities. Yes, sometimes God asks us to go a certain direction, but I think people have forgotten that ultimately our purpose in life is not to figure out our exact niche and excel in it. Ultimately our purpose is to love God and love people.

So, I must learn to trust along with everyone else. To trust that even when my direction isn’t clear, God guides our footsteps. To trust the Person rather than my path & my plans.

I don't have all my next steps figured out right now. I'll keep asking those questions, but I'm also reminded to experience the fullness of life God has already placed around me and to live that "to the hilt" as Jim Elliot would say.

A Sad Day in the Neighborhood...

This mournful post comes three days late.

Last Sunday, Matt, myself, and our housemates shared hours anxiously watching the tv. There were victorious moments that caused me to leap off the couch and squeak shouts of joy despite my bronchitis induced laryngitis. There were other moments of heart-stopping uncertainty and disappointment--most notable the end as the Packers lost to the NY Giants.

None the less, my motto remains....Go Pack!

Process vs. Guilt

So we all know the time has come and gone for making New Year's resolutions. Inspired by a few friends of mine, I decided I would jump on the "let's blog about resolutions" bandwagon.

Here's my list for this year:

- Get up 2-2.5 hrs before we leave on work days
- Do yoga & walk captain 3x/wk
- Run Zuri 3x/wk
- Take time for reading the news, house chores, and reflection each morning
- Catch up scrapbooking
- Get involved in my community
- Read thru the Bible in a year
- Get to where we are putting money into the checking account as we charge
it on the credit card
- Start our 403b, emergency savings, and regular savings
- Pay off our closing costs loan
- Fence the yard, timber the gardens, and re-roof the house
- Do a trip somewhere with Matt
- Set a rhythm of reading (like 15-30 min before bed each night)
- Take 30 min each weekend to work on training the dogs
- Work toward grad school

But over the last few days a nagging thought has been floating around the back of my mind. The thought that somehow, even though we're only 13 days into January, I've managed to slip up on several already. Now is when you start realizing that you aren't doing so well on them.

So what's the point?

Reflection.

It's a great time to look back on the last year, remember where you've been, and then look ahead and dream about where you want to be. I think taking time to reflect, whether it's on December 31st or every week, is more vital than we realize. Getting caught up in the rush of the day to day is so easy, and before you know it you're 50 and don't know where your life has gone. When we reflect we remember our creator and we catch glimpses of who he is restoring us to. We catch vision for the passions he has uniquely rooted in each of our hearts. We recognize where we are broken. And where we are being healed.

And although it isn't always fun and doesn't always progress the way we think it should, this is a beautiful process.

And the process isn't finished yet.

That's the beauty of it.

So instead of feeling guilty and getting down on yourself, take a minute to reflect on where you have come, on the steps that HAVE been taken. And keep dreaming of the steps to come.

What are you reflecting on these days?

Violence in Kenya

In case you're like me and don't always keep a close tab on news, Odinga recently won an election in Kenya. However, his competitor Kibaki claims the election was rigged. Riots have now broken out and some tribal violence (Odinga & Kibaki are members of tribes with a history of rivalry) has been incited with death tolls up to 486 today.

Here's a link to check it out some more:
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=4081668


My church sponsors a village in Kenya, along with some 2,000 children there. I don't know yet if they have been affected by this, but please be thinking of and praying for our brothers & sisters in Kenya.