Culture Shock

so matt & i recently moved into our new home in "the city" of lancaster and are settling in.

we were attracted to the city for a few reasons. a few in particular stand out:

1) just the pull of trying something different

2) being around the beauty of diversity

3) the option to do fun things like walk to our favorite coffeeshop or take the dog with us to buy groceries at market on saturdays

4) the desire to step out of our white suburban church bubble and be in relationship and close vicinity with people who are coming from different backgrounds than we are.

we're so glad we moved here.

but i've been surprised by how much of a culture shock it has been.

i think my view of the city had been a little bit through rose colored glasses. my periodic trips into the city usually were to places like prince street cafe or annie bailey's--places that only give you a glimpse into a segment of the city.

great example: yesterday i was @ prince st cafe where i had a meeting with someone. i stuck around for a while after to work on some projects and reading. i looked around and realized why prince st was comfortable to me: it's mostly like me. they play music i like. it's a nice clean classy artsy environment. people like the blond teenager who was at the table next to mine walk in wearing abercrombie, pulling out their new iphones, and i'm maybe a little jealous. the guy behind me has his macbook out on the table working on something just like i am. i realize there's not much ethnic diversity there.

this is a big contrast to when i went to the grocery store a few blocks from my house. it's in an area where people tell you that you don't want to live. it was a little dingy inside and didn't have the upscale organic and specialty foods that make me like a grocery store. when i was standing in line to check out, there were people from about 5 different ethnic background within sight.

i couldn't get away from this nagging question of if i should stick to places like prince st where i'm comfortable, or if i should be embracing the places that are different than me. the places that aren't always as comfortable because they're unknown, out of my ordinary encounters, out of my ordinary standards.

don't get me wrong, i love diversity. but i'm realizing just how much i'm around white middle class people, so when i'm around someone from a different economic status or a different ethnicity, it can be uncomfortable because i'm not used to it.

i'm realizing that i also have a lot of stereotypes.

lord please save me from this.

i get incredibly angry when i hear someone discriminating against someone else because of their ethnicity, yet some of the assumptions still find their way into my thinking. when i'm stopped at a light, i'm more likely to be nervous about someone dressed hip hop or gangster walking toward my car than i am about someone wearing a polo and khakis. i'm more nervous about a group of young african american men than i am about a group of young white men.

again, lord please save me from this. may i find my place in the city.