wanted: your thoughts

what do you all think about how people have been protesting the last few years over places that are using "happy holidays" instead of "merry christmas"?

i have some thoughts on the matter, but would also like to hear your thoughts on the matter instead of just telling you all what i think you should think :)

currently reading

Freakonomics by Levitt & Dubner
Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas
Walden by Thoreau
The Good News About Injustice by Gary Haugen
Every Woman's Battle by Ethridge & Arterburn
Tough Choices by Carly Fiorina

what are you reading? any you recommend picking up next?

amazing race...and tazers

so i was with matthew at a family holiday party tonight. toward the end, my uber-social self got partied out and decided to watch the latest episode of the amazing race. after most people had left, the remaining few got sucked into it too. in between and over watching, we chatted back and forth about the game and about the dynamics it brought out in the players. we talked about how the stresses brought out the best and the worst in people.

james, one of the husbands in the family, is a great guy, a self-proclaimed technological illiterate, avid hunter, and down to earth kind of person. he has a way of dropping those hilarious comments that you don't see coming. as we watched the show, he chimed in with one of these. he says, "you know what would really spice up this show? if they gave them all tazers"

i laughed a lot. you're a funny guy james--thanks for making my evening that much brighter! :)

Streak Runners

So, I read this fascinating article the other day about streak runners like the man in this picture, Robert Kraft. These are runners who have found some motivation within themselves to cause them to run at least 1 continuous mile a day, EVERY day--regardless of health, weather, schedule, or injury.

Here's the article if this sparks your interest:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=streakrun

Although I don't think I'll ever aspire to run every day for years like these streak runners, it did awaken that stirring deep inside me that for some reason loves to run. It's the same stirring that I get about things like digging in the garden, about yoga, about appreciate art & culture, about learning. Like we do so often, I have let the busyness of life draw me away from rhythms of engaging these things I love. Maybe I should start again.

What is your activity that connects with you somewhere deep inside?

keweenaw wilds

yesterday one of my sister's good friends posted pictures of my homeland--the keweenaw. it is such a wild and wonderful place. something resonated with you deep inside. seeing the pictures brought tears to my eyes as something resonated with me deep inside. it feels like coming home.


i was reminded of a post i made several years ago when i was home on a break from college. i thought i would share it with you all to give you just a tiny glimpse into it's wild beauty:


"it snowed today the fluffier flakes that looked like that fake snow you can buy when it was on the ground. I saw lake superior for the first time since coming home. It was breathtaking coming into view all navy blue green and choppy. the sun set beautifully pastel above it and it was rather wild crashing on the rocks...coming into eagle harbor the water no longer crashed, but gently rolled in with the town looking picturesque and the lighthouse slowly flashing from the rocky point. I spotted the first star, bright in the sky. So bright it was probably not a star but a planet or satellite--i am not good about knowing what all those are...it continued so bright it later reminded me of the Christmas star that proclaimed Jesus’ birth...the rest of the stars came out with wilderness beauty in the black sky. There I saw the big dipper for the first time I remember since going to school. For some reason I never seem to spot it in the sky down there in Georgia. It was hung there huge on the horizon. my heart swells..."

seeing the sun rise

i've always been more of a morning person than a night person, but that never meant i actually got up early.

but then you get older and you realize that when you come home from work you don't feel like doing much.

i've also found a wonderful feeling when you crawl out of bed knowing you have hours until you have to leave for work. when the sun is just brushing the sky with gold and pink. when everything is quiet and fresh.

so matt & i decided to try to get up earlier.

yesterday morning i paid bills, read the news, reflected on scripture, ate breakfast, got ready, did dishes, and fed our dogs all before i had to leave for work. and that was getting out of bed later than i wanted to.

maybe friday i'll start running again.

the pathetic part about it is that i start to crash around 9 or 10pm now.

regardless, i'm loving it.

to be a person of gentle grace

what does this mean? i was reading proverbs in The Message this morning--figure i can use some wisdom in my life--and this phrase in 11:16 resonated with me somewhere deep down. somehow the words communicated something beautiful, something that makes me wonder if there's something more than this way i have been living, this way that's watching out for me & mine. somehow i long for this.

so what does this look like when you feel you need to stand up for your rights?

what does this look like when i have been hurt or wronged?

i'd love to hear your thoughts.

autumn colors

fall color is here in full vigor.

the air had finally become crisp. pumpkins showed up on porches and dining room tables. stores already had been stocked with full christmas wares weeks before thanksgiving, true to tradition.

i love fall, so i was soaking it all up. i had accepted that with our dry summer we wouldn't see anything impressive this year in the way of fall leaves, but i had actually still enjoyed a tree here or there. i had found two beautiful scarlet trees a block away, so each time i took our newfoundland "captain" for his walk, i would purposely take a route where i could soak up their beauty one more time.

but over the last few days i found i was wrong: the splendor of fall had only begun to show her full color.

now nearly everywhere i look i see vibrant golds, almost flourescent oranges, passionate reds, and every shade between.

it's amazing that these colors are nothing new. that every year, they grow from tiny buds, leaf into full maturity during summer, just hiding the whole time beneath the mossy greens of clorophyll. in case you're feeling a little rusty on your biology (because we never forget anything we learn in school, eh? :), clorophyll is the particular molecule in plant cells that allows them to use sunlight to help produce plant food. they are also what give leaves their green color. in the fall, photosynthesis, this process of creating plant food, begins to shut down as the trees prepare for their winter hibernation. as it shuts down, the clorophyll goes away revealing the colors that have been there all along.

perhaps you could call them a tree's true colors.

maybe it's kind of like people.

you know how as people get older they seem to settle more into themselves? strengths become stronger, and weaknesses become obvious to even the casual observer. values become irreversibly ingrained.

so there's the elderly woman who can't say anything good about anything, but instead she continually complains from deep rooted experiences that left her bitter.

and then there's the grandparent that seems to think nothing of themselves, continually giving in any way they can.

but the retiree who says they have no energy to give.

yet the old man who leaves more than memories in his wake--who leaves a legacy of wisdom everywhere he goes.

and i wonder what my true colors will look like when they are revealed in my older years.

what are we doing to cultivate the colors that everyone will see someday?

Rubberneckers

There's a firetruck sitting outside Prince St Cafe right now. And from where I am sitting, I can see several people peering out the windows watching. Wondering what's going on.

I can be an awful rubbernecker.

You know, one of those people who wants so badly to slow down when they drive by an accident, just to see what happened.

One of my closest friends recently entered into one of the darkest times of her life. Her husband last week told her he didn't love her anymore and wanted a divorce. And walked out.

The days since then have been full of emotion. Pain. Betrayal. Fear.

There are times that I wonder "should I pick up the phone and call one more time? Is it okay to stop by AGAIN? Am I just being a rubbernecker in the midst of a crisis? An uneccesary by stander, distracting people from what needs to be going on?"

But then I realize that it's because I care. I hurt because I love them. I think about them and want to call because I care.

And although there are times that you need to just keep driving by and not slow down, when your best friends are in crisis, it isn't one of those times. Maybe that one more phone call or stopping by won't get in the way as much as I fear it will. And maybe if I had stopped by sooner I could have helped before this happened.

cribs and extreme makeover: home edition

i had an incredibly relaxing weekend. time hanging out with friends, watching tv, going to the Step Into Africa exhibit, sleeping in, going to a friend's wedding...sunday night, matt & i were flipping channels and happened across "cribs" on mtv. sometimes i like watching this show--it's fun to see other people's homes, how they live, and dream of living in such luxury :)--so we started watching it. i was quickly disenchanted as the particular people on this episode were rather self-consumed and cocky. they didn't seem to really care about anything that really mattered.

we started flipping channels again and found out that "extreme makeover: home edition" was on as well. secretly, we both LOVE this show and cry every time we watch it (oops, did i say that?), so we decided to watch it.

as we watched the story unfold of a single mom who has given so much of herself and her love to children dealing with HIV, and we watched her & her kids be lavished with everything they couldn't provide for themselves, i was struck by the contrast between the two shows.

one is about me. one it about others.
one is about excess. one is about blessing someone else.
one is about living for pleasure. one is about sacrifices made for someone you care about.
one is about working your way up in the world. one is about grace.

what a beautiful contrast.

maybe extreme makeover: home edition is a little bit of the kingdom come to earth.

back in the garden...and letting go...

fall is one of the best times of year. or at least i think so. the air turns crisp, so you can put on a hat or sweatshirt, but the sun still radiates warm through the atmosphere. leaves start to turn brilliant hues and fall so you can wade through them crunching and smelling their spicy musk.

now that it's not so blazing hot (and incidentally all plants are on sale) i've been getting out in the dirt again, transplanting, dreaming, weeding, dreaming some more, continuing the evolution of my gardens. i can't explain how much i love this. there's something so alive, so grounding about getting down on your knees & getting dirty, interacting with something beautiful and alive, getting dirty and tired from working hard, breathing the fresh air...i planted a rasberry bush to enjoy tasty berries, transplanted my russian sage & lamb's ear from my old house (and redid their front garden with some more non-gardner friendly plants :), bought a mt everest allium bulb with visions of it's globed splendor, and have a wisteria & red trumpet vine just waiting to be tucked into the dirt to grow.

as i pushed the earth around the sage & lamb's ear in the dark yesterday evening (i didn't realize how early the sun is setting these days!), tears fell as i learn to let go. to let go of control in relationships and of the paralyzing fear that comes with this. behind it all, i think it's about trust. learning to trust the good in others. learning to trust i am loved and valued.

maybe it's not just the gardening yesterday that was grounding and healing...

the encouragement of a friend

last night a friend came over and hung out for a while. i realized what a sweet thing it is to have people in your life who are willing to talk about real issues with. don't get me wrong, it's great to have fun w/ friends, to watch tv together, to talk about nothing, to laugh. but i realized that i had been missing the kinds of friends who also are willing to speak to the harder issues of life.

and through our musings and sharings about seeking god, i found that just the right combination of challenge and encouragement can be a beautiful thing.

Dalat Vietnam

One of my sister's is currently vacationing in Vietnam. She had been in Cambodia for the last 8 months on a cross-cultural studies internship. Now that her team is at the halfway point (of their 16 month internships), they have 2 wks to explore the surrounding countries. Hope chose to backpack around Vietnam.

She just sent me a Skype message, just long enough to say she was in Dalat and was going to be renting a motorcycle to go up into the mountains today.

I try not to worry, but I'm not going to lie: I do. :)

off and running...

so today began a season of running again. i love to run, but i had two thoughts today:

1) wow i have gotten way more out of shape than i thought (let's just say that running through two U2 songs was about all i could handle)

2) don't ever think lancaster city is flat.

none the less, i'm so glad to be off and going again, and i am loving the beautiful trees & yards around where i am...

Culture Shock

so matt & i recently moved into our new home in "the city" of lancaster and are settling in.

we were attracted to the city for a few reasons. a few in particular stand out:

1) just the pull of trying something different

2) being around the beauty of diversity

3) the option to do fun things like walk to our favorite coffeeshop or take the dog with us to buy groceries at market on saturdays

4) the desire to step out of our white suburban church bubble and be in relationship and close vicinity with people who are coming from different backgrounds than we are.

we're so glad we moved here.

but i've been surprised by how much of a culture shock it has been.

i think my view of the city had been a little bit through rose colored glasses. my periodic trips into the city usually were to places like prince street cafe or annie bailey's--places that only give you a glimpse into a segment of the city.

great example: yesterday i was @ prince st cafe where i had a meeting with someone. i stuck around for a while after to work on some projects and reading. i looked around and realized why prince st was comfortable to me: it's mostly like me. they play music i like. it's a nice clean classy artsy environment. people like the blond teenager who was at the table next to mine walk in wearing abercrombie, pulling out their new iphones, and i'm maybe a little jealous. the guy behind me has his macbook out on the table working on something just like i am. i realize there's not much ethnic diversity there.

this is a big contrast to when i went to the grocery store a few blocks from my house. it's in an area where people tell you that you don't want to live. it was a little dingy inside and didn't have the upscale organic and specialty foods that make me like a grocery store. when i was standing in line to check out, there were people from about 5 different ethnic background within sight.

i couldn't get away from this nagging question of if i should stick to places like prince st where i'm comfortable, or if i should be embracing the places that are different than me. the places that aren't always as comfortable because they're unknown, out of my ordinary encounters, out of my ordinary standards.

don't get me wrong, i love diversity. but i'm realizing just how much i'm around white middle class people, so when i'm around someone from a different economic status or a different ethnicity, it can be uncomfortable because i'm not used to it.

i'm realizing that i also have a lot of stereotypes.

lord please save me from this.

i get incredibly angry when i hear someone discriminating against someone else because of their ethnicity, yet some of the assumptions still find their way into my thinking. when i'm stopped at a light, i'm more likely to be nervous about someone dressed hip hop or gangster walking toward my car than i am about someone wearing a polo and khakis. i'm more nervous about a group of young african american men than i am about a group of young white men.

again, lord please save me from this. may i find my place in the city.

A taste of heaven...

I've been at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit Conference for the last day or two. We've been hearing great speakers like Michael Porter, Harvard Business Professor, Carly Fiorina, former CEO of HP, and Colin Powell speaking on various leadership issues. It has been a great time of continued learning and inspiration as a leader.

Between speakers, they have been touching on various social issues and artists. Yesterday they had the African Children's Choir perform--a group of African orphaned children who travel the world raising money and representing the plight of all African children. There's something about Africa and something about these issues that deeply touches my heart. It made me cry but not just mourning for the pain of the children--that was definitely there, but there were also tears for the beauty of their dancing, their singing, and their childlike joy. There were also tears for the beauty of the justice being brought to the world through their music. Justice of the hope and the education it provides to children. I think this is a little glimpse of what the world was meant to be--a little taste of heaven.

Today, they opened with Erik Mongrain, a Canadian musician and composer. He began playing and I think everyone was caught in this beautiful moment of surprise over the beauty and innovation of his music. It made me cry. This is just a taste of what the world was designed to be I think--a little taste of heaven.

Check it out:
http://erikmongrain.com/News.asp

Well, I better start listening again. :)

moving on...again...

i continually shift to new online methods of communication. i start one because i think it's what everyone else is doing, but then after a few months or years i grow bored of it and move on to the latest and greatest. it started with just a plain old email account--junomail. those were the good old days. i moved on to the world of dsl and along with it to new email accounts--hotmail, yahoo, gmail. whenever one became overwhelmed with junk mail, i would create a new one. then xanga was all the craze it seemed, so i created my very first blog. i posted faithfully at first, but the musings waned until they were months apart. by then, everyone was on myspace, so myspace it was. my excuse was that i couldn't post on people's blogs without having a myspace of my own. after about a year of myspace, i was informed by the students i worked with that myspace was no longer "it". "everyone is on facebook," they told me. at some point in the past, i had created a facebook account that had never caught on. i pulled it off the shelf and dusted off my account. this is where i am now, keeping in touch on facebook. "but i have no good place to blog," i told myself. (i always hated how messy myspace looked and admired my friend's clean--although out of touch i thought--blogger sites). so blogger and facebook it is. i think this will be the greatest arrangement of all...at least for now.