Journeying: Pearl's Blog

Violence and the Church

2010-02-20T14:24:00.001-05:00

I just finished watching James Carroll’s “Constantine’s Sword” in class, a film by Oren Jacobs. It punches you in the gut with a treatise on the atrocity of the Christian church’s endorsement of hatred and violence through the years.

As it neared ending, I could feel the tears burning the back of my eyes, and my stomach lurched. I’m tired from carrying the weight of this knowledge.

One of the main veins of injustice Carroll traces is the oppression of Jews as “Christ killers”. Along the journey, he interviews a dear old Jew who lost his entire family in Auschwitz. I’ve walked the pathways of Auschwitz. Cried as I discovered the inhumanities committed there against people. Auschwitz was the largest network of German death camps under the Nazi regime (and allowed by the Christian church…). It became the final resting place for hundreds of thousands of Jews, including many Christians of Jewish ethnicity.

Near the end, the film begins to trace a continuation of the patterns of injustice and violence into today with the war against terrorism, a war being fought in the name of freedom—a “God-given right”.

It also makes me think of our opinions and involvement on the conflict between Israel and Palestine.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand there are people that are evil and are a threat even to their own people, not just our nation. But I wonder how often we go in with a hero mentality, going in thinking we know best and will push our will upon others because it’s the right way. Perhaps we should take more time to listen, should go in to only support what others are doing.

(Disclaimer: I don’t think I know near enough to really talk intelligently about all this, so please grant me the grace of listening to my tears even if the expression comes rough around the edges…)

Tying back to a comment from class on Tuesday, I can’t help but wonder what our Iraqi brothers and sisters in Christ, our Palestinian brothers and sisters in Christ, think about our involvement and our stances.

God, save us from ignorance, misunderstanding, and even outright misuse of our faith when it comes to power, politics, and faith. We often feel we are the oppressed, but I would argue there are others far more oppressed and we perhaps are the oppressors.

P.S. You should watch the movie. http://constantinessword.com/?page_id=122

A View from the Other Side

2010-02-16T19:46:00.002-05:00

My cohort is privileged to join another cohort for our current grad school class.

I'm sitting in the first session, and I'm already so refreshed by perspectives I don't usually get to hear. Perspectives coming from brothers and sisters who love Jesus and love their neighbors, but get to bring a lens of interpretation different than mine due to differing ethnicity, differing context, etc.

Here are a few sound bytes from class challenging us to consider another perspective:

"The radical right wing people..."

"What about the Palestinian Christians...?"

"Some say America was founded as a Christian nation, but talk to the Native American peoples, and the African American peoples and they might have a different perspective to offer..."

I'm realizing all over again how important it is to not be inbred when it comes to theology, politics, and all other arenas of conversation, perspective...To not always talk with people coming from the same context, because they're going to say the same things, think the same things (as independent and self-reflected as we think we are).

1.29.10

2010-01-29T15:09:00.001-05:00

My sister’s voice came clearly through the cell phone, “God told me that you are called ‘to be a prophetic singer to the nations of his beauty and holiness.’”

I stare out the car window at the passing Florida bush, and tears filled my eyes. See, I have trouble knowing God’s voice in my life, but I long to know it. Sometimes I fear I’m missing something in my relationship with him that I don’t hear him speak to me in words. So this makes me cry when she continues on, saying God told her he knows my heart to hear his voice.

Earlier this week, I wrote on a scrap of paper, requesting prayer from a dear woman, a prayer warrior. I had requested prayer for clarity about my future, about the fact that I have not idea what I’m doing when I finish my master of divinity in a year and a half. She came to me the next day and said that as she was praying for me God had given her a verse that she needed to share with me. Ruth 2:12, “’May the LORD reward your work, and your wages be full from the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to seek refuge.’" She encouraged me that I needed to stop being anxious about what God has for my future, and that I need to hide myself under God’s wings, that He would provide for me.

It was a little weird since I don’t usually have people come up to me and tell me they have something from God to tell me, but what made it even weirder and also very cool was that it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Almost like God knew or something.

So these last few days I’ve been reminding myself to rest under God’s wings, to trust his hand in my life and not allow myself to worry.

And this is when my sister’s call came.

I’m not sure yet what it all means—a prophetic singer to the nations?—but I know one thing for sure: I don’t need to be anxious about it. So I’m sitting back and waiting. Resting. Listening. Waiting with an open heart and a sense of anticipation to see what God does next.

You know what else is kind of erie? I clicked a song in my iTunes faves list so I could listen to tunes while I wrote this. It started playing, and suddenly I realized it’s “Cover Me” by Bebo Norman…

The Starfish and the Spider

2010-01-10T13:58:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading The Starfish and the Spider by Ori Brafman and Rod Beckstrom, and it is a must read for anyone in any kind of leadership position.

First, how can you not be intrigued with a mysterious name like that? The subtitle sheds some light on its topic, however: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations. Framan and Beckstrom explore the relationship between centralized organizations and decentralized ones. To set the foundation for this, they unpack fascinating examples like MGM, the Spanish Army, and AT&T for centralized organizations and Skype, Wikipedia, and the Apaches for decentralized ones.

Not only do they explore examples of centralization and decentralization, they explain the factors that make an organization one or the other and also offer helpful suggestions for finding the “sweet spot” between the two extremes in your own context.

Plus, it’s an interesting and fast read – always nice. :)

First Snow

2009-12-05T18:55:00.003-05:00

The first snow of the season came today. It surprised the last days of an unseasonably warm fall, sweeping aside the last leaves clinging to the trees, and frosted the still purple leaves of my lettuce in the garden.

Best of all, it quietly blankets my soul. Whispering as it falls through the dark, grazing across your cheek, thick in the street lights. Suddenly, I am okay with slowing down, savoring, resting.

I never thought of winter as a season of rest before, but I am discovering it anew this year. A few weeks ago, Brian McLaren was sharing at a retreat about one-word prayers for each season in our lives. I expected winter to be a season of pain and questions, but instead he described winter as the quiet season of our soul that follows the death of autumn. It is the season of rest before new growth.

May we settle in and know rest and peace in Christ this holiday season.

Sacred Moments in a Rec Room

2009-11-30T19:43:00.000-05:00

Heaven comes on earth everyday, but we don’t always notice it. I dare you to watch for it though.

One of these moments snuck up on me the other day.

We were at a retreat for school. A group of us gathered after the evening session to continue the conversation and ask the speaker additional questions we had. We huddled in the rec room, some sitting cross-legged on the floor, some on the pool table, some in the few chairs, but all leaning forward with the expectancy of disciples eager to learn from a master.

Much of our conversation ended up centering around the larger issues our churches often miss—issues of prejudice, poverty, and violence. At one point, someone named Albert courageously opened his heart to ask “are the [white] people in this room on our [minority] side?”, and I had the privilege to answer with the others in the room, “yes, we are fighting the same fight, dear brother. Thank you for being willing to ask rather than just putting me in a hated category because of my skin color.”

It was a sacred moment.

Thank you Albert, for reminding me that there is a perspective outside my own. That there are others bringing another side to the table that I need to hear about. Thank you for sharing from your heart and for opening your heart to us. I hope you’ll find that it’s safe to have us there.

Rice & Noodles - THE BOMB!

2009-11-09T21:41:00.003-05:00

So, I know that I just dated myself back to 1998 by saying the bomb, but - regardless - if you're in the Lancaster area you totally need to go eat at Rice & Noodles! We just experienced it tonight for the first time, and enjoyed great conversation with a super cool person (you rock Deb :) over wontons, spring rolls, and friend rice.

http://www.riceandnoodlesrestaurant.com/

Menu: Yummy Vietnamese - think delish spring rolls, tantalizing friend rice, famous wonton soup and salad bowls, refreshing jasmine lime iced tea, the list could go on.

They not only have amazing food, but also an amazing story.

Story: One family, flees from Vietnam and successfully starts a group of restaurants in New Orleans only to be displaced by Katrina. After being evacuated to Houston, they relocated to Lancaster where they had a family connection. Now they're sharing their culinary talents with us here!

Click here if you'd like to read more about their story.

P.S. They're between Boston Market & that bright yellow chinese place on the right as you're coming down Oregon Pike into the city.

You Know It's Cold When...

2009-10-15T10:42:00.002-04:00

Every spring & fall we try to conserve some energy by leaving both our AC and heat off for a month or two. One time we made it two months, but we're usually doing good if we make it 6wks. Then, when we are using them, we try to use our programmable thermostat to conserve. In the winter for example, it automatically lets the house stay colder during the day while we're at work and at night when we're curled up under the covers. Then it keeps it warmer during morning and evening hours. Anyway, enough about that.

As usual, the heat & AC went off several weeks ago, so the temp in the house has slowly been dropping as fall set in. This morning it was finally down to 62. Now, I know some of you would say this is the temp you always keep your house at, but I'm cold blooded, so this is pretty chilly for me and I decided it was that time to turn the heat on.

I knew we had let it get cold in the house when, just a few minutes later, we found our dog Zuri standing over the heat vent letting it blow on her face and ears!

Good Art Makes My Heart Happy

2009-09-28T21:14:00.001-04:00

Prodigal from Stephanie Mathis on Vimeo.

I had the coolest moment today

2009-08-18T16:35:00.005-04:00

I talked to a guy on the phone today. He's interested in volunteering where I work, at Water Street Ministries. Water Street's vision is transformed lives as they work with the poor and homeless in our area.

His daughter is one of the employees here, and he wants to support this.

Here's the only thing. He's deaf.

Yep, I did say that I talked to him on the phone. There's this awesome video phone translation service where my call to his house gets routed to a translation center. One of the translators picks up the phone, sets up a video feed with their deaf client, and then proceeds to translate between the two parties--signing on video to the deaf person, and relaying their signed message in speech back to the hearing person.

How awesome is that!?

The situation almost brought tears to my eyes. It just felt redemptive somehow. Here's this guy who's been dealt crap, but he wants to give back to others and there are others in the world partnering with him so he can do things hearing folks do, like talk on the phone.

Sweet.

How Do You Stay Sane?

2009-06-27T15:41:00.000-04:00

As you all have seen in my silence over the last few months, life is crazy right now. Being in school is an amazing thing but also has a way of sucking you into a giant black hole. ☺ Each day, I have to make choices about priorities. What relationship do I need to invest in? What homework must be done? What task at home is pressing? What is the next step for the launch of Pearl Street Photography? I’ve started realizing a few things: 1) I have to choose. Choose what I can and cannot do. Where I can invest and where I cannot. 2) I have to take small bites. Just accomplish one thing each day instead of trying to take on everything at once. 3) Take time to rest whether you think you have it or not. If you don’t, you won’t survive.

How do you prioritize your life and not only stay sane but also thrive in the midst of craziness? I would love to learn from you!

Jesus' Hands & Feet

2009-06-16T20:39:00.006-04:00

I was at an all staff training for work when a co-worker shared something profound.

We find in the story of God that he calls his people to join him in his restorative work in the world. In the modern world, this work often involved intellect and the building of systematic theologies, sometimes to the neglect of action. God calls us not only to love him with our minds, but also with our hearts and hands.

So this staff member is also a current resident of our Mission, which I think is profound all by itself. But his words struck me when he shared something like this:

"I can't just be told that God wants us to love because my understanding of the whole idea of love was messed up. I needed someone to show me what love is."

This guy gets incarnational theology--the truth of who God is being acted out in our lives. God's people coming alongside one another and alongside our neighbors, putting hands to love, feet to faith, and action to hope. How true that we all have broken understandings of God's truth, and we need each other to put flesh on it to help each other see God. Theology is not meant to be merely an intellectual exercise. Those around us should experience our theology by the way we live.

Thank you, brother, for reminding us of this truth you understand so well. May we heed your words and engage our worlds with the loving truth of Christ...

I Am Still Alive

2009-06-09T20:36:00.001-04:00

By this point, many of you must believe I have dropped from the face of the earth, so I thought I would drop in and confirm I do indeed still exist. Who knew full-time work + full-time grad school = crazy? It has, however, also been an amazing last couple months. I will be posting a few mini-blogs over the next couple weeks to share a few highlights and glimpses into my life right now. (Sorry all you get is mini-posts when it’s from someone fighting a daily battle against burnout :)

Spring!

2009-04-07T12:24:00.003-04:00

Spring seems to have finally arrived!

First the leaves of bulbs began pushing through the ground, breaking up the brown of winter. It felt like forever before anything else happened, but suddenly the daffodils began nodding golden heads, and I found a blooming cherry tree arching over the sidewalk as I jogged through my usual route. Hedges I never noticed before jumped from the landscapes, cloaking themselves in yellow forsythia blooms and inviting me to brush against them as I run by.

Now the colors have multiplied. Dogwoods aren't blooming yet, but are pushing purple buds out, giving the treeline a hint of life. Redbuds are in full force. Cherry and tulip trees are full of purples and pinks. Fields are bright with new grass. White blossoms fill bushes along neighborhood streets.

As the sun shines warmer, the days last longer, and the smells of life fill the air, I remember why this is one of my favorite times of year...

Moving

2009-03-15T18:16:00.002-04:00

Sometimes we stop and we sit

Sitting
Sitting overwhelmed
Overwhelmed facing the ocean of need
Crying

And it moves forward without us

Sometimes it continues on and we are blind

Blinded
Blinded unaware
Unaware of the dark injustice of our world
Comfortable

And it moves forward without us

May we be moving

Moving
Moving forward
Forward into the dark injustice of our world
Forward with the hope of the gospel

Together we hold lonely hands
Educate hungry minds
Feed swollen bellies
Stand by each other
And nurture souls

One step at a time
One voice
One word
One touch

Alone so small, but together facing the ocean
And moving forward

http://www.dalitnetwork.org/

Last week missing snow, this week dreaming of gardens

2009-02-08T09:30:00.002-05:00

So, a few days ago I was planning this funny post about the (sometimes crazy) things that I sometimes miss about the average 13 feet of snow back home in the UP:

The smell of snowblower exhaust
Cleaning your car off in the morning
Snowy roads
The sparkling like diamonds
Shoveling snow
Your eyes hurting because the sun on the snow is so bright
Walking through snow covered woods

But it's funny because right now we're having a warm spell here in PA, so now I'm dreaming of spring and gardens. Thursday it was in the teens, but yesterday was in the 50s and I worked in the garden in shorts.

Here's to sitting on the front porch in the sun, feeling the fresh air coming in an open window, listening to the birds singing, and planning this summer's veggies!

Just Do...Something

2009-02-02T21:49:00.005-05:00

I often find myself overwhelmed in light of realities like this:

In the words of Edward Everett Hale:

I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything but still I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.

For too long I have been waiting for the someday and that something bigger, but I am beginning to realize that God has placed me where I am for a reason, and I need to be faithful to that, responding to the opportunities in front of me.

Let's just do something, and together we can do much.

Maybe for you, that something is giving an hour or two of your week here in Lancaster for one of the many organizations extending love by investing in the lives of middle schoolers, serving meals, counseling, offering shelter or AIDS relief, educating, or giving in one of many other ways.

Maybe for you it means packing peanut butter and jelly for lunch instead of eating out as a commitment to begin living more simply to have more freedom to give.

Maybe for you it means allowing God to mold you into an awesome neighbor, friend, or spouse.

Maybe for you it means prayer and advocacy, giving a voice to those who are so often ignored.

Or maybe it looks like one of the infinite other creative ways we can begin partnering with God to bring healing in our suffering world.

These are the things I have been taking steps toward in my life. Will you join me?

I Can't Help Crying Sometimes

2009-01-25T09:49:00.003-05:00

This morning, all the leaders of this weekend gathered together for one last time. We touched base on some logistical details and then created some space to share about the memorable moments from the weekend.

As leaders shared about students encountering the person of Jesus, I began to cry. These students are bearing more than their small shoulders ever should--grandma's dying from cancer, self-doubt from acne and from mental disabilities, a mom who passed away just weeks ago, and I could go on and on. But this weekend, they encountered Jesus and saw him beginning to put their worlds back together again. They began to trust how they are brilliantly created, how God is close in our darkest moments, and how he is in control and working in our world to put all this sh** back together again (sorry, sometimes ordinary words just don't carry the weight of the pain, brokenness, the sick things in our world that never should have been). They encountered him as they talked late into the night in their cabins, as they sat listening to Matt share the art, the teaching he has crafted from his soul and the truth he knows about his God, and as they stole moments to gaze up at the starry sky.

We saw a little bit of heaven this morning as leaders shared, a little bit of heaven coming to earth...

Sacred Moment

2009-01-24T09:56:00.001-05:00

A while ago, we had one of our PA winter snow (i.e. sleet) storms. The next day, as I was driving to a meeting for work, the sun had come out and was transforming the icy winterscape into a wonderland of diamonds.

A response slipped from my lips: "It's beautiful--thank you, God."

At that very moment, a sense that I was in the middle of a sacred moment made my breath catch and my soul tingle. It felt like something was suddenly right in the world.

What made this moment sacred?

Cold Engulfing the Nation...and Me

2009-01-16T21:25:00.003-05:00

Reports of frigid temps are all over the news. A work contact in Chicago today informed me the wind chill there was rockin out at -51!

Last night, I decided to stick to my rhythms and take zuri for a run. The "real feel" temp was -3, so I layered up hardcore. I was still afraid of freezing though, so decided to cut my run shorter than usual. Good thing I did because:

1) My toes are still sore from getting too cold in those 15 minutes
2) I still had to stop and thaw my dog's paw 3 times
3) It was so cold my earbud wires immediately froze, making a thumpy, cold-creaky sort of noise as I ran

I was still glad I went, but tonight the real feel is -7 and I decided to stay inside curled up on the couch with a blanket. :)

Origins of the Internet

2009-01-08T21:44:00.002-05:00

Wow, who knew the foundations of the internet were being laid all the way back in the 1950s!? I get a little lost toward the end, but so it's a super sweet and interesting overview of how thing thing we depend so much on now came to be. Thanks to my friend Adam for sharing this sweet--albeit maybe slightly nerdy--video! :)

History of the Internet from PICOL on Vimeo.

Reflections on Light from the Christian East: Part 4

2009-01-03T14:19:00.002-05:00

Here's the next to last installment of my reflections on Light From the Christian East by Payton:

10/8-9/08
I feel like I am being rather UNorthodox in these journal entries. It seems they involve more the stuff of thought and emotion rather than of action. After all, isn’t the Orthodox tradition one that says experience informs theology? And here I sit contemplating theology apart from prayer and meditation.

Anyway, I digress.

In this section of reading, I learned about several doctrines that carry more weight in the Eastern Orthodox tradition. These included the doctrines of incarnation, transfiguration, and resurrection. Learning about the Orthodox view of these issues brought new significance to them. For example, I always thought the Transfiguration did not make sense. It seemed like a random account of Jesus deciding to meet with some glorified dead people. Even when my church taught on the Transfiguration, it was usually something like “Now Peter and John selfishly or proudly wanted to just stay in this exalted place they experienced, but Jesus taught them that they had to go back into the world to continue ministry for a time.” The Orthodox view, however, expounds on the incident as a display of the deification that we all will experience because of the incarnation and triumph of Christ. We would all do well to opening ourselves up to learn from the doctrines of the Orthodox tradition that we have neglected.

One of the emphases of the Orthodox tradition that stood out to me especially in this section was their emphasis on union with Christ and their view of this and of salvation as a more holistic process rather than a series of events. Their emphasis along with their view on the nature of grace brought me back repeatedly to the teaching of Ed Miller, a humble man from Rhode Island who was very influential in my father’s faith journey and, in turn, mine. Ed over and over again refers to these ideas of union with Christ being the source of our life and salvation and of God Himself as our salvation, grace, wisdom, etc. In one of his reflections, he writes, “We have no doubt begun to learn that there are times in our lives when He will give us strength in answer to our prayer, but it is His greater desire to reveal Himself as our Strength. He will certainly send help to His people, but He would rather we discover the He Himself is our Help. He will give wisdom to those who ask, but better far is the realization that He is made to us Wisdom” (God’s Dawn for Every Darkness: Morning-Fresh Glimpses into His Gracious Heart. Colorado Springs: Random House-Waterbrook, 2001. 47).

May we all find life and rest by faith through union with Christ, our very Salvation.

Earthquake

2008-12-27T08:31:00.002-05:00

Last night we stayed up late playing one of the best games: "Ticket to Ride Europe" (you get to strategize and build train routs through Europe). At 12:04 AM, Matt, his dad, his mom, me, and one of our housemates Kate were gathered around the table when a low rumble and vibrations began to rumble. It was loud enough that we had a multitude of thoughts running through our mind:

"What the heck is our neighbor doing rolling a piano across his wood floors in the middle of the night?"

"Oh gosh, is our furnace about to blow up?!"

"Did a tractor trailer crash into a house?"

And it was long enough that we began vocalizing our speculations to each other. Fearful gazes darted around the table. As the rumbling died, we jumped up to check what had happened--Matt to the basement, his mom to check on the grandbaby, and me to the porch to see what I could see. There, I found neighbors our on porches all over our block, hollering back and forth to each other about what we had just experienced.

I was relieved to find that my house wasn't about to blow up, but I didn't feel like my heart was calm and my breath caught for a good 10 minutes after that.

Here's the news article, a siesmic graph, and the earthquake center reports.

The Spirit of the Season

2008-12-22T23:23:00.003-05:00

Hey all, here's a great video that's been going around on AdventConspiracy.

La Paz Es Preciosa

2008-12-21T11:13:00.004-05:00

I was surprised yesterday by a glimpse of the kingdom.

Driving through my city, my site rounded the corner of a building to rest on a small group of protesters on the steps of our courthouse. They were wearing hand-written, poster board and string signs around their necks. The first to catch my eye said, "La paz es peciosa."

I reached into the recesses of my semester of Spanish and began to piece it together: "paz=peace, I think. 'La' is 'the'. 'Preciosa' sounds a lot like precious. Oh, 'The peace is precious." Then my gaze scanned the others quietly standing on the steps, and, sure enough, the others were also declaring messages of peace in English.

Tears caught me as the gravity and truth of their message sunk in. "In a world of violence, there is another way of peace," they were reminding us. No matter what you think about war, I think we all could agree that they are prophets of God's kingdom in a way, pointing to another reality, another way of doing life. This is a way of doing life that will never be fully realized until Christ establishes his reign on earth, but it is also a way of doing life that He has already begun to establish, even in small ways, in the lives of His people.

May we be bearers of peace in our broken world this Christmas season.

Reflections on Light from the Christian East: Part 3

2008-12-11T20:12:00.001-05:00

Here is the third of my reflections on Light from the Christian East by Payton...

10/8/08
Eastern Orthodox theology is boggling my mind.

I am struggling with their idea of God’s utter separateness from his creation. It confuses me in light of theologies on the divine image. I wonder though if they just hold the paradox of essence versus nature in equal tension rather than defaulting to the easier way: relying more on one side or the other. Truly ascribing to opposite truths at the same time is always the most difficult way.

I also struggle with their idea of the dynamism of creation. If creation was destined from the beginning to become more and more like God, doesn’t that imply it was not like God in some way? Would this not imply some initial brokenness?

Despite my questions, Eastern Orthodox theology also continues to draw me in—this time through their emphasis on the imminence of God with his creation and their views of the nature of humanity. First, their emphasis on the imminence of God with his creation reminds me of the intimacy we were designed for. It reminds me that, although God is utterly other, he is also intimately involved in our lives. It reminds me that I am sustained and transformed through this presence in my life. The second idea I find interesting is that our actual nature is not depraved, but rather that our gnomic, personal will (Payton, 114) tends to lead us to death because of the great tradition of sin passed down through the ages and cultures. This makes so much sense in light of the struggles I have had over the doctrine of “total depravity” from my tradition. This didn’t make sense to me that there was nothing good at all in us, especially in light of non-religious people who seem to do some very Godly things. The Eastern Orthodox view on this matter would allow for this because it allows for people to sometimes make right choices from our incorruptible Imago Dei (although we always end up also making choices that lead to death as well).

I wonder if perhaps our Western views and the Eastern views on human nature are really so different after all. As Payton mentioned in the conclusion, Western views also account for this ability for ungodly people to do godly things through their view of the enablement of common grace (118). But is this really so different from the Eastern view that we are able to do good out of our human nature, which is in itself an extension of God’s divine energy? What really is the difference between divine energy and divine grace? Both result in good in our world and in the restoration of humanity to our original design.

Homeless Tonight

2008-12-07T10:47:00.013-05:00

"Where will Gil sleep tonight??"

This question haunted me, evoking many tears on a chilly car ride Friday night. I was driving home from meeting Matt for dinner on his break. When we had sat down to eat in the food court, a grizzled, homeless man had walked in, set his Save-a-Lot bags down, and sunk wearily into a chair at the table next to ours.

Our encounter with this man came as yet another one of those "sacred echoes" (Margaret Feinberg, Sacred Echoes) of God whispering to me and molding my heart toward consumption and toward the poor lately. Here are a few of these echoes I have been encountering:

1) A class I am taking right now that has required the completion of a several part project on the book of Amos--a book basically about the condemnation of God's people because of their oppression of the poor

2) A retreat a few weeks ago where I was challenged to live more in a pattern of rhythm and investment rather than purchase and consumption

3) A holiday season where I haven't been sure how bills are going to be paid, but we seem to keep spending anyway

So when this homeless man sat down near our table on Friday, we couldn't just look the other way as we so often do. We knew deep in our souls that it was not okay that this man was hungry and cold and that it was not okay for us to ignore him when we have so much, so we asked him if he would like some dinner. We were able to sit and eat with him, to learn his name was Gil, and hear some of his story.

When dinner was over, we said our good byes, and I drove home sheltered on the outside from the bitter elements but completely torn up on the inside by the question of how Gil would stay warm on this same night.

Now, I know that we all respond at this point with questions about empowering versus enabling and that we justify the fact that this problem exists by saying we can only do so much, but there is something terribly wrong here my friends.

There should not be Gils in this world sleeping in the cold.

We are the ones commissioned to do something about it by a God who has told us again and again not only that the poor and oppressed are those who are closest to his heart but also that those who allow oppression to continue will sit under his deepest, just wrath.

What can we do to make this right in our world? In Lancaster? What will we do today? Tomorrow? What will we put off for later and eventually relegate to never?

We have a God who has painted a beautiful picture of the restoration of all things in Christ to what they were intended to be, and we have opportunity, the responsibility to join in this process, to bring hope to our world again.

So I pray that we will be a people of action. That we will continue to be shaken from the individualistic, selfish worlds that we so easily dwell in, and that we will become the agents of restoration in our world. That we will be a people that co-create with God a world where no Gils will sleep in the cold tonight. In the name of Christ, may it be.

Reflections on Light from the Christian East: Part 2

2008-12-07T10:44:00.002-05:00

Here is the second of my reflections on Light from the Christian East...

10/7/08
In this second reading, the Eastern Orthodox views on knowledge of God drew me in. They seem to have two principles that go hand-in-hand as they approach theology. The first is that intimacy with God informs theology, and the second is that we should start from a foundation of what we can not know about God (apophatic theology). Both paint a picture in stark contrast to our Western view that knowledge of God forms the basis for theology. The alternative to this Western view was very appealing to me though. It evoked feelings of simplicity, achievability, mystery, awe, and intimacy.

See, I feel conflicted right now about nurturing my relationship with God. On one hand, I feel like God is a part of everything in my life, a thread woven beneath the whole. But on the other hand, I don’t feel like I do enough intentionally to nurture my encounters with God. The idea of Scripture reading and study deter me while the ideas of meditation, prayer, and mysticism draw me in. Granted, both ends are necessary and require one to create space for them, but perhaps a more balanced view of the two would help me more readily enter into these encounters…

Oh, Thanksgiving Feast

2008-11-29T12:25:00.004-05:00

What fun holidays are! We spend Thanksgiving @ our place this year along with 7 other friends & family members. We cooked up a storm:

20 lb turkey
Double recipe of sweet potato souffle
Green bean casserole
Brown & serve rolls
Homemade mashed potatoes w/ garlic, cream, & butter
Gravy
Pecan pies
Pumpkin pies
Mulled cider

We ate, laughed, told stories, and ate some more.

Maybe we should feast with lots of people more often...

Zuri even feasted on the turkey carcass (un-beknownst to us) while we were away Black Friday shopping the next morning.

Reflections on Light from the Christian East: Part 1

2008-11-26T21:00:00.001-05:00

Hey all, I know I have been dreadfully neglecting the blog these days, but life is crazy with classes and I have had no motivation.

Why not double-dip? I read Light from the Christian East: An Introduction to the Orthodox Tradition by James Payton for a traditions class, and did several reflections on it that I will share in this series. If you are as green as I was about the Orthodox tradition, I highly recommend this easy-to-read introduction.

Anyway, I will let the reflections give you a more extensive taste.

10/7/08
Western Christians on the Fourth Crusade stooped to a “three-day rampage of destruction, slaughter, rape, and pillage” (Payton, James. Light from the Christian East. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity, 34). My heart broke when I read this. Matt and I were on one of our usual treks back from visiting family. We usually take advantage of these chunks of time in the car to dream, set goals, and read together, so I was spending some time in Payton. Tears filled my eyes, and shock slowed my heart when I found out that it was the atrocities of our fellow Christians, not doctrinal differences, that created the permanent rift in our faith tradition. How could Christians do this to their own brothers and sisters?! It still brings tears to my eyes to think about it.

Matt and I began talking about the split, and it led to a broader conversation on our tradition of Protestantism. We have created a tradition of division, of splitting from our brothers and sisters over what sometimes are only miniscule differences. Now that I see the broader scope of our tradition and the creeds, the Protestant pattern begins to look rather petty.

The kicker is that I find myself “protesting” all the time. I am frustrated by those who interpret Scripture differently than I do because I believe my interpretation is the right one.

The question then becomes “how can we avoid continuing this pattern?” We came to the conclusion that it will require a continual spirit of humility and willingness to stay in learning dialogue with one another. The other day, I was listening to a Fermi Project Podcast that referenced this kind of attitude. In this particular podcast, Shane Claiborne was sharing about how he had a conversation with a kid on his block about homosexuality, how he had finished sharing his views with the kid by suggesting he also go talk with another member of his faith community who held a varying view on the issue (Interview with Shane Claiborne. Fermi Project, Podcast #12. November 28, 2007).
God, please protect us from our pride and individuality leading to the division and even destruction of your people…

Art on the Farm

2008-11-09T16:30:00.004-05:00

Saturday I headed out with one of the girls for a fun adventure. Art on the Farm, a local art fest of sorts, was going on all weekend. It's a more intimate sort of event that is literally on a farm: a two-story, rustic barn becomes the gallery, an extension on the barn becomes the stage for live music, and the shed becomes the cafe.

We snagged hot cider that I think was some of the best I ever tasted. We moseyed through the artist's stands and admired the stone walls and rough hewn beams of the barn. We made fun of some creepy art, admired others, and bought a few gifts for people. Then, we hit up the cafe and found a delightful spread: Rachel's Creperie making fresh crepes as you watched, a full assortment of desserts, plus an array of soups and salads. We ate our crepes sitting in a row of ancient theater seats listening to a quirky two-man folk band. We wandered around a little more, chatted with some people, and then called it a day.

Keep your eye open for a date for next year's--it's worth it!

Some Rumblings from Class

2008-10-29T22:38:00.002-04:00

I would love to use this blog as a reflection point for things I'm learning in class. Here's an excerpt from an online discussion for our Christian Tradition class:

"Our whole discussion Tuesday blew a lot of my "boxes" up. Driving home from class, I could feel the shifts rumbling inside:
• The interpretation of the Church being of higher value than the inerrancy of Scripture
• The very human factor in the formation of the Canon versus a view that pretty much calls the Canon innerant as well
• The value of church tradition rather than it being stuffy and old
• The value of Catholic and Orthodox traditions rather than them just being those "could be born again (i.e. but not likely)" people.

I am beginning to view the role of tradition as far more important in Scripture and its interpretation than I ever did before. Community begins carry even more weight in light of this. I find myself fascinated to learn more about these ideas but also scared of the sacrifice it might require to become less independent and more dependent on my faith community. I think this is difficult in our culture especially. We have been taught that independence and freedom is of the utmost value, no matter the cost. Viewing tradition, church community, as the anchor for our faith and interpretation flies in the face of the American Dream in many senses..."

Thoughts?

Yes, I wear man deodorant

2008-10-25T13:23:00.006-04:00

My deodorant choice became the rather hilarious topic of conversation at work on Thursday.

About a year ago, I decided on a whim to switch to non anti-perspiration deodorant. The common anti-perspirant ingredients are reputed to have cancer-causing potential. Now, I am sure many of you at this point are rolling your eyes and dismissing me as yet another one of those cancer-phobes. Hold on! Don't stop reading! I admit, the supposed risk was the motivating factor for my switch, but I promise I am not fanatic about it.

The problem was, I couldn't seem to find a women's deoderant that wasn't combined with anti-perspirant. I chose the logical next choice: the most neutral smelling men's deoderant I could find. This happened to be Old Spice, fresh scent.

Yes, go ahead, get your laughs out. I laugh myself about it, but after I made the switch I discovered several benefits that have made me an official convert:

1) Ladies, you know how deoderant (anti-perspirant kinds that is) make your armpits grippy? Switch to a pure deoderant, and this won't happen anymore!

2) Anti-perspirant deoderant leaves that waxy residue not only on your armpits, but also embedded in the armpits of your shirts--not to mention the white streaks on the outside of your clothes. Does straight deoderant? Nope!

3) And no, I haven't noticed a marked increase in the amount I sweat by not wearing an anti-perspirant :)

It's official: I am a fan of Fresh Old Spice, and I don't plan to switch anytime soon.

Prodigy, Late Bloomer, or Neither?

2008-10-21T19:55:00.002-04:00

Fascinating article by Malcolm Gladwell (think The Tipping Point and Blink:The Power of Thinking Without Thinking) about the nature of genius developed over a lifetime vs. prodigy:

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/10/20/081020fa_fact_gladwell?currentPage=all

I wonder which I'll be, or if I'll ever be either? I wonder what I am/will be gifted in? Ah, the questions of my life right now...

Africa...

2008-10-20T18:10:00.003-04:00

I know this video has already been going around, but in case a few of you haven't seen it yet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSdP6PqsbJY

It stirs the desire deep inside again to work with these beautiful people. I am not sure yet what the desire means or where it will take me, but it's there...

A Tribute to Captain

2008-10-09T21:09:00.003-04:00

Some of you know, and some of you may not, that our Newfoundland "Captain Lewis" (the little bear walking with me on the beach in the pic above) recently found his way to a new home. He had gotten to be more than we wanted to handle with his whole 150 lbs of hair and drool. I felt like a sorry excuse for a person giving him up for these reasons, but can't tell you how much I have enjoyed feeling like I have our house back again! Honestly, I think he might have a better life with his new owners than he did with us since they:

1) Are retired and thus have a lot of time to spend with him at home
2) Have a great family friend who is a professional dog groomer and offered to do his grooming for them for free
3) Specifically wanted an older Newfoundland--hair, drool, lethargy, and all

It felt like God provided by connecting us with this couple who seems to be such a great fit for him.

Despite the hair & drool, Captain really was a great dog. Here are just a few highlights from our year with him:

Finding out that he was smarter than he looked--skilled enough to open our refrigerator, pull out the meat drawer, and clean us out on a regular basis until we installed a child lock
Seeing his adorable eyes looking up at you as he put his paw on your lap "Don't stop loving me!"
Dressing him up as a pirate and having him chill on the porch with us while we handed out halloween candy to 400 kids
Finding out that bathtime literally scared the s**t out of him
Watching him run (yes, believe it or not, he was capable)--his gait was flowing and beautiful

Captain, I hope you're very happy in your new home...

Some of the thoughts that have been running through my head

2008-10-07T19:19:00.003-04:00

Man, I should be watching the presidential debates so I can make a more informed decision--maybe I'll look for them online tomorrow
I wonder if the economy really is going to collapse
But, selfishly, I'm hoping for another sweet tax rebate from the bailout plan
Will my to do list always be never-ending?
Maybe Matt & I could adopt a kid from Somalia who lost their family to the famine
I'm excited about taking more of the opportunities to engage the relationships God has put in my life
Ooooo--I haven't watched the Amazing Race episode from Sunday yet!

Gracelessness

2008-10-05T16:09:00.004-04:00

God really does have his fingerprints all over everything doesn’t he? And when he speaks to us, like Margarget Feinberg talks about in Sacred Echoes, it isn’t just a one time writing in the sky revelation. He has an amazing way of speaking in many ways all around us, affirming the same thing, so that we can’t help but notice.

He’s been doing this in my life lately. Pressing in on a deep-seated gracelessness woven deep within me. I didn’t realize how much I am unable to extend grace to myself and how profoundly this affects my ability to then extend that grace to those around me. For whatever reason, a deathly fear of failure has woven through my life for a long time. But His fingers have gently been pushing the soil away to reveal roots, pulling them out one by one, and replanting them in his streams of living water.

The other day I started reading Free of Charge: Giving and Receiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace by Miroslav Volf (how can this not be a cool book with a name like that!?). In it, he quotes from a story by Antoine de Saint-Exupery titled Little Prince. I’m not going to try to explain the story—you need to read the book if you want to hear more—but at one point Volf summarizes and quotes from The Prince: “His mysterious affair with the rose began when he responded to the rose’s simple request, ‘Would you be so kind as to tend to me?’ The gift of care made it his rose, the only one in the whole world. ‘It’s the time you spent on your rose that makes your rose so important,’ the wise fox told him.” (Volf 16)

For some reason this has stuck with me as just one of the many ways God has been drawing me into encounters with him, encounters with his radical grace. This idea that we must be able to give, not sell, to the people around us. To care for them without requiring things in return. This idea that when we are able to do this, we find that person becomes very dear to us.

Gracelessness, I have been realizing, leads to the opposite: when all our relational transactions are “buying and selling” as Volf describes it (14), we actually tear those relationships down and are left with bitterness where there once was love.

This blog is already getting long, so I’ll spare you, but there’s a glimpse into what God has his hands on in my life right now…

Almond Joy's & Computers

2008-10-01T22:33:00.003-04:00

Here’s a peek into my new job @ Hershey Foods:

1. Almond Joy—just one example of why people gain “The Hershey 10” during their first year working here—can anyone say free chocolate all day?
2. The BBC news podcast makes me feel smarter on my 45 min commute in
3. Between spreadsheets, emails, and meetings about things for the spreadsheets and emails, you have a pretty complete picture of a typical day
4. A thermal mug has become a fixture in my hand each morning
5. I’m learning things like what 1394 and HDMI ports are for—who would have thought?

Back in blogosphere!

2008-09-28T14:54:00.002-04:00

Yes, I have been neglecting my blog--my apologies, but I am officially up and running again with a few goals:

1) Blog for the benefit of my own reflection and to share my life with others, not to increase my number of readers

2) Create some rhythms with my blogging--types of blogs, or frequency or something. Any suggestions?

Jobs, jobs, jobs!

2008-09-01T22:46:00.002-04:00

I only have the energy for a quick post since we put in a 13 hr day working on a fence job today, but just wanted to post a quick update on our job searches for anyone who hasn't heard the latest yet. We both officially have jobs! It's been so cool to see how God has provided in both large and small ways all along the way, and this is just another example.

Matt will be working for Apple, starting training this Friday for the new retail store they are opening @ our local mall (no, we don't know when it's opening yet, but hopefully you'll be able to come see Matt soon for all your Mac needs :)

I was offered and accepted a temporary position with Hershey Foods where I'll be managing the administrative end of their periodic company-wide laptop replacements until the end of next June. The team I'll be working with seems like a really cool group of people, and I'm excited about the challenges and experience I think I'll have during these next few months there. After next June, who knows. Maybe I can find something in project mgmt or church relations with World Vision. That would be amazing...

Sacred Pathways: part 2

2008-08-25T16:14:00.003-04:00

So, in case you all were curious, here are the couple that stuck out to me as the ways I seem to connect better with God:

Naturalist, loving God out of doors
Sensate, loving God with the senses
Traditionalist, loving God through ritual & symbol
Contemplative, loving God through adoration (sitting, basking in his love & presence)
Intellectual, loving God with the mind

I'm not sure yet which are strongest, but I think the Sensate & Contemplative may be pretty far up there.

Matt is also a contemplative (and a caregiver!), so we came up with a fun plan for fostering this together by remodeling our study into a sensate, contemplative sort of environment that just invites you in to sit, read, listen to music, pray, contemplate, enjoy God's presence, work on our mounds of homework... :)

Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas

2008-08-22T16:47:00.002-04:00

So, I just finished Sacred Pathways: Discover Your Soul's Path to God by Gary Thomas. It's not as weird as it sounds, trust me. :) It's kind of The 5 Love Languages equivalent for connecting with God. He talks about 9 different ways people connect with God:

Naturalists, loving God out of doors
Sensates, loving God with the senses
Traditionalists, loving God through ritual & symbol
Ascetics, loving God in solitude and simplicity
Activists, loving God through confrontation
Caregivers, loving God by loving others
Enthusiasts, loving God with mystery and celebration
Contemplatives, loving God through adoration (sitting, basking in his love & presence)
Intellectuals, loving God with the mind

He says, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's spiritual walk." Profound.

It was so rejuvenating to think about what environments my relationship with God is best nurtured in and to think of some ways to spend more time in these environments.

I would love to hear from you about which ones do you think I most resonate with? Which are you?

Road Tripping

2008-08-19T08:28:00.001-04:00

We are on the home stretch of one of our regular cross-country traipses to spend time with family. This time has seemed particularly long. I am starting to feel like I have lived in the car for the last week. I guess by the time we arrive home tomorrow we will have spent some 40 hours in the car in a 5 day period, and that’s not to mention the hours the bathroom breaks, a pit stop in Pittsburgh to pick up my little sister, and lost searches for a Caribou Coffee tacked on to the journey.

Our drives are always great times though to step back and do some reflection. To evaluate where we are in life and dream about where we want to go in the coming days, weeks, and years. So in the midst of the boredom, the car-induced tiffs (and sometimes all out brawls), and way too much money paid to Starbucks, they do end up being a rich time to re-focus on what really matters in life.

Tonight, as the sun faded, giving way to an amber rising moon and a bright trail of tractor trailer lights, I’m doing some soul searching.

As we spent time with my family to celebrate Hope’s graduation, I saw something in her and others on her campus. I saw a sense of deep peace. It almost seemed like they had this well deep inside of them that so filled the core of their being that it just couldn’t help but overflow, bringing a sense of calm to the world around them. It kind of weirded me out at first. I felt on the defense as I suddenly felt like I was anything but peaceful, centered, and living out of something deep within myself. If anything I felt shallow, uptight, and selfish.

I know that God walks with me, that I trust Him, but I feel like something has been missing, like I got distracted by life and let the life of my soul dim. Distracted by leadership. Distracted by bills. Distracted by relationships. Distracted by an intense fear of failure. Distracted by my house and the next big thing to get on the list. Distracted by health. Distracted by learning. Distracted by a lot of things that aren’t bad. Mostly things that I do want to be significant in my life, but I feel like these haven’t been flowing out of a rich well in my core. Instead I feel like they are things I have been sustaining. My plans, energy, and dedication. My goals, pleasures, and pain.

So my questions are:
What does one do to life from an inner well?
I know in my head that the right answer has something to do with “Jesus” of course, but really does it all hinge on him?
And if so, what does living in this reality really look like?
Do many people feel this lacking, even genuine believers like me (or at least so I think)?
If so, what is it keeping us from experiencing this inner well?

Gosh, I want this. I feel like has to do with this sense of intimacy with Christ. Trust. Rest in His Being. Rest in who I am in Him. All these things that seem so basic and we all know as the “right” answers, but somehow I feel them deep in my soul this time. In a way that I long for rather than a way I just feel obligated to.

I wish I could express how good that last statement feels for me. So good that it almost brings tears to my eyes because I’ve been on this journey for the last few years of re-discovering what my faith really looks like, struggling to let go of the slavish fear (as one of the grads this weekend called it) that binds me to “right” things and learning to hold on to the truths that I own in my gut. And one of the things I don’t get yet is this intimacy with God thing, but as always the journey is continuing…

God, I wanted a goal during this season in my life to be to learn to recognize your voice, but maybe my goal needs to be to just know you more during this season because hearing your voice will probably begin to take care of itself as I look into your face. Please continue to reveal yourself to me in new, mind-blowing, life-giving, healing ways. No, just please continue to reveal yourself to me. Period. The rest will come. The rest will flow from this. Remind me of this every day. I need it.

Can you tell life's been crazy lately?

2008-08-12T10:07:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I think the frequency of posts can be an indicator of the level of insanity in life at any given time. Ours is pretty high right now:

1) We are both still job searching, and our current jobs end the 31st

2) School starts in a month, but I'm still wondering if I should be in this program since I'm still asking myself what the heck I want to do with my life--but at the same time I really want to go and not sure why.

3) Since school starts in a month, we figured we had better get off our butts and start finishing all the house projects we're in the middle of before then--painting, plaster repair, removing linoleum felt and glue from our landings, and repairing our roof

4) And life on top of all that--work, friends, bills, mentoring, being mentored, family, travelling later this week... (not that those are just add on's to #1-3, everything is just all jumbled together right now in one big crazy mess)

So yeah, that's why I haven't been blogging much lately. Your prayers are coveted!

oops

2008-08-05T14:12:00.002-04:00

so, maybe today isn't such a good day with the bikes after all.

we made a little dunkin' run for a mid-afternoon pick me up (in the car--we're not that dedicated). as we were going through the drive thru, there suddenly was a thump and a shaking.

moral of the story: when you go through the dunkin' doughnuts drive through you probably want to remember that bikes on the roof rack stick up--sometimes higher than the little height warning bar sticking out over the drive thru lane.

let's just say matt's bike seat padding got peeled up a good bit.

i guess it was good for something because i got a pretty good laugh out of it at least.

back in the saddle

2008-08-05T12:16:00.003-04:00

after about 6 weeks without biking (come on, half of the time we were in czech okay!), matt and i hit the streets again yesterday. man it felt good. i did run a little in the meantime, so i hadn't badly regressed as i had feared. i think yesterday i might have actually beat my highest average speed yet. maybe more cross-training would do me good!

now i just have to decide if i want to start training with matt and a couple other people we know for the seagull century ride (100 miles) they're doing in october.

anyone else game?

Reactions to Blink

2008-07-30T13:32:00.002-04:00

I just finished reading Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.

I am left with that feeling that as much as I strain to grasp the whole idea in all its complexities, it continues to spill over and slip through my fingers, leaving only puddles, portions of the author’s work within reach at any given time.

Maybe if I write it down, I’ll be able to gather it all in one place and feel like I have a better handle on Gladwell’s ideas:

1) When it comes to complex decisions, the snap judgments we make can be more effective than deliberated and analyzed decisions because they quickly pull out key factors instead of becoming overwhelmed by irrelevant ones.

2) Conversely, our intuition can be grossly mistaken or cut short when it is overwhelmed by irrelevant factors or biases. Lack of time, panic, and lack of experience contribute to the likelihood of this happening.

I guess the conclusion would be trust my intuition more, to stay wary of becoming overwhelmed by too much information, but at the same time to realize my intuition is fallible, to continually seek to be self-aware, to train my mind to focus on the right factors in decisions, and through it all to pray that God works through the fascinatingly brilliant minds he has given each of us, whether I am conscious or unconscious of it’s workings.

I feel like I still didn’t do Gladwell’s thoughts justice.

I am also left with the maddening lack of something tangible to take away from it. I wanted to walk away with a formula for decision-making, but instead I have paradoxical feelings of liberation to trust gut reactions and simultaneous confusion and fear about the incredibly complexities both of the decision process and of the inner workings of our minds.

Stepping Out

2008-07-28T10:15:00.002-04:00

I heard an amazing story the other day from a college student who came by my office.

She and a friend have been touched by the injustice of child sex trafficking in our world, so they are stepping out and actually doing something about it. They organized a whole golf tournament to raise the money to bring the band Ten Shekel Shirt in to play at their two colleges. Ten Shekel Shirt's shows will be raising awareness and funds for International Justice Mission and Love146, both organizations that are involved in working against the exploitation of children.

So often, I hear about something, but never do anything about it. But here's two girls who have decided to step out and do something. Because of this, hundreds of other college students will have a chance to learn about these issues and contribute to organizations that are working toward solutions.

How cool is that?

P.S. If you're in the area and want to participate in the golf tournament: http://www.new.facebook.com/event.php?eid=21381503939&ref=mf or just holler and I can hook you up with info

Anyone want to read "Blink" with me?

2008-07-24T12:26:00.003-04:00

It's a national bestseller about rapid cognition, the conclusions we reach in seconds about things, about the power of these conclusions, both good and bad, and about harnessing this ability.

There's some cool discussion questions in the back for a book club sort of thing (nerdy sounding, I know :), so if any of you want to snag coffee together and chat about it I'm game!

pretty hilarious!

2008-07-23T11:01:00.002-04:00

you have to watch this:

http://www.vimeo.com/1389654?pg=embed&sec=1389654

some of the rockin youth staff here at lcbc sharing how even the best of us have had time when our visions for a deep learning experience don't quite play out the way we hoped!

Apologies

2008-07-21T10:19:00.002-04:00

Sorry everyone for my recent negligence in posting. Life has been a little crazy lately. Maybe crazy isn't the right word, just full. And fulfilling. We are in the midst of job searches, school applications, and getting back into the swing of things here in the US. I have also been enjoying more time reading, more frequent runs with our puppy zuri, catching up with various friends old and new, and working on a few extra side-jobs to make some extra cash for some upcoming expenses (I'm so excited that someone has hired me to do some work in her gardens!). The time I have had reflecting lately has not included writing, so I'll have to try to get back to this soon.

Authenticity and Finding My Soul

2008-07-15T07:33:00.004-04:00

So, as you all know, it's been several weeks now since I decided to resign from my current job. I realized I had gotten in a rut of sorts. I was in a place that was okay, but I didn't feel like I had quite found that niche that was using my gifts to their fullest and where I felt fulfilled. I realized I needed to step out of my current situation so I would be able to broaden my horizons and take some time of self-discovery.

Only a few weeks of reflection and listening to God's whispers around me and I am amazed at the subtle ways I already feel more myself, more free, more authentic, more alive.

I guess when you are in such a transitional place opportunity for learning and growth sky rockets (not that you can't learn and grow in the other times).

One of the things I have been thinking about is authenticity. What does it look like in my life to be truly authentic. To be honest about where I am and who I am. To not feel like I have to put up a front that I am more "spiritual" (I think this word is a misnomer anyway, but I'll use it here just because I think you know my using it here is referring more to the stereotypes of spirituality) or more outgoing or more of a leader or more perfect or more whatever it is I feel like I have to be. It is so scary and so freeing all at the same time.

I wish I would put words to the feelings of being in this place. I feel like a whole world of possibilities is before me. Like God is working in mystery, weaving the threads of my life into something--which is incredibly hope inspiring at times and incredibly unknown and terrifying at times. Like I am rediscovering my faith and I am discovering myself. The image I keep thinking of is sitting on my porch swinging with all the time in the world--reading, reflecting, watching people walking by and the gardens whispering in the wind, the same breeze refreshing, whispering in my soul, and nurturing hope.

I must add a caveat here though. Not everyday feels like this. There are days I am honestly depressed. I feel scared, as I quit one job and no new ones are working out. For sure, my hope wanes some days, even feels completely dark. But even on these days, God is still at work, bringing growth, working out things I'm not even aware of. Because of this, I have to tell myself I can have hope.

May you find hope today. May you rest knowing that God is at work in mysterious, redemptive ways.

Caring for Your Soul

2008-07-09T05:18:00.000-04:00

I have been doing a lot of reflection on this trip about next steps in life for me. I recently resigned from my job to take some time of self-discovery, to find some clarity about what God has gifted me in and where I am excited to invest. Partnering with the Frydlant church this year, meeting the people, experiencing the new community, has been a neat time to think broadly about options for the future. I don’t know if I will necessarily end up serving in the Czech Republic, but it has been encouragement to be willing to think outside the box, outside the current comfortable place I am to consider what new adventures God may have for Matt and I.

On another note, I have been encouraged these last few days in caring for my soul. One of the days at camp, the theme was “soul”. We talked about what are souls are, how it plays into eternity, and how we care for them. I think it may have caused me to do as much thinking as the rest of the students! It was so interesting to think about our soul being the unique person that God creates each of us to be, our eternal being that mirrors God’s image in creativity, justice, relational wiring, etc, and perhaps even where our personality, passions, and gifts reside. How do we care for this? How do we nurture who God created us to be? How do we nurture the relational nature he has deeply rooted in us—with others and with Him?

At the same time these discussions challenged me, I was processing how easy it was to be at camp, investing in students, discussing God, but at the same time not really taking time out for my own soul. Time to sit and ask God what I needed to hear each day and what my team needed to hear. Even time to just care for who God created me to be, time to run or listen to music, time to rest and rejuvenate. Instead, it was easy to just do the next thing we had to do and to try to escape whenever possible.

I was working on reading The Church on the Other Side to write a reflection as a writing sample for my grad school application, and the author said something that caused me to continue thinking about these ideas. McLaren said, “Leadership must once again become a matter of love and spirituality, a place for spiritual sages, not just organizational technicians” (121).

He then goes on to quote Henri Nouwen:
“It is not enough for the priests and ministers of the future to be moral people, well trained, eager to help their fellow humans, and able to respond creatively to the burning issues of their time. All of that is very valuable and important, but it is not the heart of Christian leadership. The central question is, are the leaders of the future truly men and women of God, people with an ardent desire to dwell in God’s presence, to listen to God’s voice, to look at God’s beauty, to touch God’s incarnate Word and to taste fuly God’s infinite goodness?” (121)

What a cool opportunity I have in life during this time of transition to not only seek self-discovery but also to pursue authenticity and to explore rhythms of caring for my soul.

How do you care for your soul?

Starbucks-a familiar place

2008-07-09T04:40:00.005-04:00

How much would you pay for a familiar experience? I just paid a ridiculous 110 crowns (approx $9) for a grande chai latte at the prague starbucks. I feel incredibly materialistic admitting that but at the same time am absolutely loving spending the morning chilling here. It's fun knowing that I could very brokenly order one of my favorite drinks in czech: "dobry den, grande chai caj bez vode prosim" (i.e. hello, grande chai tea without water please).

The things that make us happy...

We're heading to English Camp today...

2008-06-27T02:46:00.000-04:00

So I might be offline for the week--hope you all have a great one!

Finding the Commonality Among Cultural Differences

2008-06-26T12:57:00.003-04:00

So, I realized that I think I grossly read my own context into my last blog. Matt & I ended up having a big discussion later today with Nate (on staff here with Josiah Venture) about what Czech church is like and what the word means to Czechs.

Here, the negative feelings toward church are more toward Catholicism rather than Evangelical Christianity like in our country. Where in the US, society is taking an increasingly disdainful view of the Evangelical church based on factors like homosexual opposition, hypocrisy, and judgement, here in Czech minds Catholicism has become both the stale, irrelevant religion of grandmothers and also an incredibly greedy institution (after the Velvet Revolution & the fall of communism, many catholic churches went to the government demanding payment for their property that had been siezed when the country had fallen to communism--these demands amounted to hundreds of millions of dollars, were plastered across the news, and left a bad taste in the mouth of people across the country)

In some senses it sounds so similar: God's people not being what they were designed to be, and people being turned off to it, but in other senses the reactions differ. Here, once someone has a chance to experience evangelical Christianity for themselves through someone they know, an English Camp, etc., a very distinct difference from their negative perceptions becomes apparent. Well, I guess it can be the same in our country, but the perceptions are sometimes over nuances between "traditional/conservative", "pragmatic/seeker sensitive", and "emergent" models rather than the more drastic theological differences between catholicism and evangelical christianity. In that sense, the church is able to keep things more simple.

So here, perhaps the solution isn't a church in a bar like it could be in our country, but perhaps in both contexts the solution is a community of authentic Christ followers who are engaged with their world and sharing the gospel/bringing the goodness of God's reign through that.

Maybe amidst all the differences we aren't so different after all.

The heart of a Czech

2008-06-26T05:57:00.004-04:00

I just heard a czech share his heart in an amazing way: "I don't like church...I feel like they want something from me sometimes, like not drinking alcohol. I don't drink alcohol, just beer" (a cultural note--here, beer is very common just as an everyday beverage, and alcohol is typically just used in reference to hard liquor).

I thought that part was hilarious.

But then I also started tearing up because his conversation was so reflective of some of the same shifts that are taking place in our culture. He talked about the new openness to spirituality, but then also a dislike of church.

It made me think of Dan Kimball's They Like Jesus, But Not the Church.

Maybe we should come live here for a few years and then plant a church in a bar. It becomes a tricky line though when people leave their faith communities because they are frustrated and think they can do better. I think there might be a lot of people in my generation doing this right now.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it looks like for us to bless the Church of today, in all its forms and diversity but at the same time to come alongside her and help her reach my generation who is saying things just like this Czech? How do we do this in a way that is not helpful, that is not angry or reactive? How can we instead be a positive force? How can we create rather than tear down? How do we maintain a humble posture while at the same time passionately pursuing opportunities that we believe to the best of our understanding God is placing in front of us?

Jesus. Enough.

2008-06-26T03:44:00.003-04:00

It's funny how we learn the same lessons over and over again, isn't it?

With all the transitions coming up, my ability to trust God and his goodness has been sorely shaken. Then fears of failure and shame began to bubble to the surface the past few days as well.

But God has been sending those subtle but consistent reminders like he does--those echoes, those whispers of what we need to hear. For me they have been of the simplicity of Christ. To truly know I am deeply loved. To know I am completely forgiven. To know that Christ walks beside me, freeing me from fear of failure as I trust his sufficiency. Sufficiency not only for the past, but also for the present and the future. Sufficiency that means he will guide my steps and restore my heart.

Christ. Enough.

May you find true rest in that, my friends.

czech updates

2008-06-25T03:54:00.000-04:00

matt's been keeping the team blog up w/ what's going on, so stop in!

http://czechteam2008.blogspot.com/

Czech, here we come!

2008-06-19T12:44:00.004-04:00

The last two summers, I got to travel to the Czech Republic to help lead the team LCBC sends each year. We have been partnering with churches in the Czech to do English Camps for somewhere around 10 years now. These camps create environments for Czech students to bring their friends, have fun at camp together, learn some English, and talk about faith. Since the Czech Velvet Revolution didn't take place & free them from communist dictatorship until my lifetime, the country remains largely foreign to christianity. Many students haven't even had an opportunity to talk about faith, God, etc. at all, so camp becomes a place for them to develop relationships with Christ followers, to see we're not all crazy, and to ask questions together about what the heck all this is about.

This Sunday, Matt & I head out with this year's team, so we're working on getting together last minute details for work coverage while we are away, figuring out what to do with our dogs, how to pay bills, etc, and making sure we are ready for leading a team of 9 highschool students alongside our other two adult leaders.

We created a team blog where we'll be posting a few updates along the way, so check in when you think of us and send up a prayer:

http://czechteam2008.blogspot.com/

The News is Official

2008-06-17T20:47:00.003-04:00

Well, the news became public yesterday with my volunteer teams and the LCBC staff and today with the rest of our young adult community, so that means it can officially be blogged as well. I'll just share what the rest of the young adult community received:

Dear Liquid Community, We are excited to share that God has been leading us both to a new season in life. We both have a deep love for working with the church. That is not changing, but we have also experienced increasing stirring toward a new phase. The sad part is that this means we will no longer be working with young adults here at LCBC. Instead, over the next few months Pearl will be transitioning to working in the community, discovering what faith and loving people looks like in that context, and Matt will be transitioning on as well. We are both also exploring the possibility of grad school at Biblical Seminary with their LEAD Master of Divinity program. We are so thankful for these several years we have had working alongside you all. We feel so privileged for being a part of what God is doing at LCBC, and stand more and more in awe every day about what's happening here. We can't wait to see what God continues to do here! We are both available if you have questions or want to talk more about our transitions, so feel free to email or call. May you continue to know Christ and how deeply you are loved, Matt & Pearl Parks

So that's the big news. I think it had been a while coming but I didn't realize it. When you're in the middle of things it just has a way of being cloudy from all the factors involved, but one day God gave me the stimulous he knew I needed as I always struggle with major decisions and it just became really clear deep down in my gut that the right next step for me was a transition. I love working with the church, but I haven't quite found my voice in it yet. I thought I could find it along the way while I was working in the church, but I think instead I just started getting kind of caught in a rut that I realized I needed to step out of to start exploring my heart more. Sooooo, I did.

I'm so excited for this new season, but it's also terrifying at times. It's so easy in my head to say "trust God, he led me here, so he'll take care of me", but when I'm actually having to drive around turning in resumes feeling like I'll never be able to find something I love doing that makes more than $9 or $10 an hr trust suddenly eludes me.

When you think of it, send up a little prayer for us. We appreciate so much the way you all have already been coming around us with encouragement, tips, etc. Thanks for loving!

Thank God he journeys with us...

a must listen cd

2008-06-16T13:30:00.002-04:00

very creative i think--both musically & lyrically.

makes me want to listen to "worship" tunes again as it is not only creative but also reflects my heart. after all, that's what worship is anyway isn't it? our response to God? i guess if that's true, all worship doesn't have to be so creative the way i like it for it to be good or true. maybe it just becomes more true worship for me because the creative stuff is more true to my heart's response. hmmmm.....

new nose hoop

2008-06-14T21:16:00.006-04:00

sooo....yesterday i did what i have been wanting to do for a while: got a hoop for my nose.

about 30 minutes, some "holy mother!", and a pain-induced running nose later, I'm officially sporting it:
and i'm laughing at myself-life is so much fun sometimes.

new best time biking

2008-06-12T13:43:00.002-04:00

16.1 mph average

YEAH.

i think my goal by the end of the season is 20. since i started around 12 or 13 i am about halfway there!

beautiful things on a smokin day

2008-06-10T12:00:00.004-04:00

spontaneous DD run with matt. small iced coffee, extra cream, extra sugar. driving with the sun roof open, wind flowing, music swinging. conversations and questions about what's next in life.

the bike ride from hell

2008-06-07T08:44:00.004-04:00

So yesterday we had this brilliant idea to bike my bike in to the bike shop. When we bought the bike two months ago, it came with a free 60 day tune up, so we wanted to take advantage of it.

I had told Matt no way. Then I started getting sucked in and said I would only if it was 20 miles or less each way. He mapped it at something like 19.87 mi each way.

No getting out of that one.

So we hopped on the bikes and biked this:

The upper right corner of the route is where the bike shop is. We were going to just reverse the way we came, but decided to try another way that would be more scenic. Note to self: when the guy giving us the directions said "once you go over that mountain" I should have realized that was going to be a problem.

About mile 24.5, as we were "going over that mountain" I emotionally/physically hit a wall, pulled over and flat out started crying. Maybe this is part of being a girl (not the wussy part, just the crying because I was pushed so hard part! :) But I eventually got back on and kept going.

At mile 35.5 I hit another wall as my legs inexplicable started aching really bad. Deep down, from my hips all the way to my shins. And it only got worse when I would stop. Matt asked me if I wanted him to go ahead and come back with the car to pick me up. Thank goodness I'm stubborn and don't like giving up because I just kept pedaling...and crying for a few miles.

Eventually the aching almost went away--maybe my body finally metabolized some of the ice cream cone, banana, and half of a snickers ice cream bar I had eaten when we stopped at mile 32 for a break and a flat tire change--and we pulled back in our house still having somehow averaged a 13.1 for the whopping 45.59mi ride.

I still feel slightly wussy that I struggled so much. There's people who bike half centuries and centuries frequently (50 & 100 mile rides). But I made it, and I did my best. I guess that's all that matters.

Hanging out

2008-06-06T08:47:00.004-04:00

Last night several of us ended up hanging out as a house (Matt & I and Kate, one of our housemates). It was some great spontaneous fun: grilling out, playing games on the porch with the neighbor, and re-watching Juno.

The game we played was "Incan Gold" -- it's a chance game where you basically get to be like Indiana Jones exploring an ancient Incan Temple looking for treasure. Kudos to our gaming friend Josiah (and thanks for being willing to loan it to us - I don't think we've lost any pieces yet :)

More about the gardens...

2008-06-03T08:36:00.003-04:00

This is a bit belated, but about a week and a half ago, I thinned my spinach. I'm not very good at growing things from seed, but somehow these came up and needed to be spaced out a bit. I felt like I was harvesting my first crop, like it was very organic and healthful, and I munched a few :)

Last year I tried some veggies for the first time, but I think I only ended up growing some zuchinni. This year I'm venturing on and trying several fruits & veggies:

Strawberries (too bad you have to wait until yr 2 to eat them!), blueberries, blackberries, and rasberries. Spinach, zuchinni,
green peppers, bush tomatoes (can anyone say SALSA?), and pole green beans. I even planted an herb pot (oregano, parsley, chives, & rosemary) and a few things for tea (peppermint & chammomile).

Who says you can't garden in the city?

Our biking commute: Day 60

2008-06-02T14:26:00.003-04:00

So we usually do our biking commute in two day segments: home from work the 1st day, then to work the 2nd day, leaving our car at work overnight. We've been trying to do 1 or two of these blocks a week (2-4 trips).

After filling up our car the other day, and seeing it cost $54, we decided we're going to shoot for closer to 6 trips/wk on the bike, and to commute w/ some co-workers who live down the street more often days we do drive.

That's exciting. :) We save about $2 every time we bike one way, plus we get a great 45 min workout :)

I told Matt though, that I don't want to bike that often unless I get faster (he can average 16-18mph, so he usually is waiting for me :). I just have a hard time spending 45-50 min of my day each way we bike.

But yesterday and today I averaged my fastest times yet! Usually on day 1 of a block I average about 14mph, and day two I average about 12mph; but yesterday I averaged 14.7, and this morn I averaged 14.1 (that was even w/ taking the scenic route home yesterday - 16 miles through manheim & down fruitville pike instead of our usual 11.5 down harrisburg pike!) I'm proud of myself :)

p.s. Josh, we've lasted longer than the 2 wks you predicted! Maybe we should have bet some Starbucks on it or something :)

House & Garden Adventures

2008-05-29T18:22:00.007-04:00

These last few months, we've been doing projects around the house & gardens. Here's a few glimpses of some of the most recent.

We mulched last week. Found out you can get free mulch from our township--sweet!
I think it was the biggest mulch pile I've seen in my life.
Matt's parents wanted to help with some house projects while they were here:
So we scraped a lot of popcorn ceiling, patched & sanded plaster, ripped up carpet...
...and worked on scraping the linoleum off that was glued to the wood floors under the carpet. BLAH. We're wanting to refinish the wood on all the landings and steps. Note the white stuff everywhere: let's just say clean up after all this took probably 2 hrs.

So there's a little glimpse for you all!

family is coming to visit!

2008-05-21T14:12:00.004-04:00

tomorrow, matt's tribe starts to arrive and will be spending the weekend with us. we have grand visions of walking to central market, laughing a lot, touring the local winery, relaxing, and generally having a great time.

i (heart) city life. cant' wait to show off our new place & the city we are growing to love.

Collaboration

2008-05-20T12:30:00.003-04:00

I’ve been thinking lately about collaboration.

I just finished a book, finally! I read like 7 books at a time, so I’m AWESOME at starting ones, but not nearly as great about finishing them—at least not quickly. But I finished Tough Choices by Carly Fiorina, a great memoir from a talented businessperson—lots of helpful thoughts on leadership.

As I read the afterword, this particular paragraph really stuck out to me:

“A company’s [or any group of people] ability to look at new ideas and new solutions is linked directly with the heterogeneity of its management team. If a management team is homogeneous or becoming less diverse, it means people are favoring consensus and conformity in their meetings and decision-making processes, rather than encouraging the creative tension that comes from differences in perspective, experience, and yes, race and gender as well. This is why real diversity is in everyone’s interests: better decisions come from understanding and hashing out the differences in people’s points of view. If everyone thinks in the same ways and agrees quickly, decision-making may be faster, easier, and more pleasant, but it’s not as effective. Something important is going to be missed, some problem ignored, some risk underestimated. The only antidote to the dangers of ‘group think’ is a diverse team sitting around the table and a decision-making process that explicitly examines and debates every point of view.” (321-322)

And later she says a lot about how she views her role as a leader when she says “I have always been passionate about unlocking people’s potential, the power of collaboration, and the technology that enables both” (323).

I always talk about believing in humanity’s “Imago Dei”, our being created in the very image of God. How because of this, everyone has value, potential, and divine characteristics—as flawed and twisted by sin this all can be at times. But Carly’s view that everyone has something to bring to the table, no matter how different they are, really challenged me.

This takes Imago Dei to a whole new level for me because it doesn’t just mean I value my neighbor, or my husband, or the homeless man on the street. It means I have to believe that the person I don’t get along with, or the person I don’t feel on the same page with, has something I desperately need. That together, we can create something better than we can alone.

As young adults, I think we often feel at odds with the world around us. We have a sense of cynicism and discontent with the way things are. We rile up with passion, often coupled with bitterness, about how we want to change things, people, institutions, culture. And sometimes we think this is a righteous sort of indignation. Maybe it is. Maybe God wants to use each new generation to push in directions where we need to go. But somewhere in the process we lose sight of the fact that previous generations have something to bring to the table as well. That there can be good, even alongside the bad, in the way things are.

Now I keep thinking about this in those moments I feel at odds with others around me.

another day

2008-05-18T22:27:00.002-04:00

today i...

- drug myself out of bed still unrecovered from a week of crazy sleep schedules
- had chai from starbucks (no water--it's way better!)
- got up to harrisburg to check out my church's multi-site: sweet! so cool to see something god is doing and opportunity to be a part of it.
- met with the czech mission team matt & i are leading for the summer
- got to spend time just w/ katka over a frap @ barnes & nobles, planning for english camp
- drooled over 3 books i wanted to buy
- caught up on some piddly things around the house
- sat with my dog, read a magazine, and enjoyed the rain
- chatted with the neighbors on the porch
- hung out with our small group for a while and talked about what freedom means
- watched some tv

...and now i head to bed soon. good night all!

p

Everyone should be able to stay home on rainy days

2008-05-16T18:47:00.004-04:00

Life should just shut down, and we should all be able to stay home in our sweatpants. Then, you can relax and do whatever you feel compelled to do on rainy days:

Sleep as late, or get up as early as you feel like
Run in the rain, smelling that lovely wet pavement smell and feeling the water dripping off your hair and running down your face
Stay in comfy sweats all day
Tip a chair back on the porch and read
Make a cup of hot tea in your favorite pottery mug
Open the window and listen to the drops fall
Snuggle with someone you love
Sit on the couch and have a TV or movie marathon

Well, that's what I would like to do anyway. I love rainy days. Today has been incessantly gray and wet, so I really wasn't very motivated to be at work all day. I was going to share Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem "The Rainy Day" with you all because I imagined it was a lovely picture of how I felt about rainy days, but it's actually a rather depressed poem. I decided not to.

What would you do if rainy days were holidays?

Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth

2008-05-13T19:48:00.002-04:00

I'm not much for when the Christian community gets in an uproar over pop culture they feel like they should oppose:

Harry Potter
The Golden Compass
The DaVinci Code

I think it rubs me wrong for a few reasons:

1) It seems like they tend to pull things out of context

2) I hate the fact that Christians are sometimes known more for what they're against rather than the good things we are for

3) I think it portrays us as unwilling to interact with the culture we are a part of because we are so afraid it is going to taint us instead of being able to recognize the pieces of good that are often mixed right in with the bad. We throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak.

The latest round of warning emails have been about is Eckert Tolle's "A New Earth". Recently launched to the forefront of the nation's attendance as Oprah not only endorses it, but is actively promoting the teaching.

So I've decided to read it for myself to see if it's all they're saying it is.

What the heck is Twittering?

2008-04-23T15:55:00.003-04:00

Hey all. Several of you have been asking lately what the heck twittering is, so I thought I would put out a mass explanation.

Basically, it's the same thing as the status on your facebook page--it's just a way of letting other people know what you're doing and seeing what other people are doing. You can tweeter from your cell phone, online, through im...You can even link your twitter to your facebook so your twitter updates automatically post in your status (that's why my status usually says i'm twittering something).

If you want a longer explanation, check out this youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddO9idmax0o

Yes, I know it's probably lame, but hey I have fun with it. I'm sure it will fade out of popularity soon, but if you like jumping on silly, short-lived fads check it out! my twitter name is pearlparks.

birds & biking

2008-04-10T12:04:00.004-04:00

so, this nice, friendly little robin of a bird had a run-in with me on wednesday. more specifically, a robin hit me when i was biking to work.

it all happened in a split second.

i was just biking along when i saw something quickly scuffle across the road into my bike. i'm wondering: did some leaves just blow across the road? did a small animal run across? did i hit it? what's going on?

i look down to see a robin trapped, flapping around between my foot & my bike as i'm pedaling away.

needless to say i started squealing and wondering what the heck i was going to do if it started viciously pecking my feet (i ride clipped, so not the easiest thing to get off your bike quickly).

about the time this panicked thought was flashing across my mind, the bird managed to flop its way out of my pedals.

i hope it was okay.

i do have to say i'm proud of myself that i didn't panic & crash in the midst of it all :)

Check out the pics of the fence we built!

2008-04-04T12:27:00.004-04:00

Check out the new fence we built! Around Easter, we did a bunch of work outside @ our house, tearing down an old fence, digging up a ratty hedge, busting out an unused outside fireplace, putting some new furniture on the porches, building a new fence, edging the gardens with railroad ties, and doing some transplanting and getting ready for summer gardens. It was a lot of work, but so satisfying to sit back and see now that it's done. Now we just need some warmer weather to enjoy it all. :)

Matt posted some of the picture from along the way on his blog, so check out the link!

http://ponderingloudly.blogspot.com/2008/03/fence.html

Provocative, Organic Church

2008-03-28T13:46:00.003-04:00

I’m reading this phenomenal book called The Provocative Church by Graham Tomlin.

It’s redefining evangelism, lending shape and form and words to things I have been feeling but didn’t know how to express. The idea that being a Christ follower is about living life under the rule of God. It’s about experiencing the restoration and fullness of life that he designed us for—experiencing love where there once was bitterness, forgiveness where there once was revenge, beauty where there once was ugliness, community where there once was lonliness, creativity where there once was conformity. It’s about engaging in our contexts and bringing these things to our worlds. It’s about offering explanation when this provocative way of life stimulates questions, and inviting others to experience life under the rule of God for themselves.

I was just reading some more of it, and this one particular sentence grabbed me: “Paul viewed the Christian community in Corinth not in mechanical but organic terms” (The Provocative Church, 147)

What would it look like for church leaders to create structure & conditions for church community that is more organic than mechanical?

But what is organic? What does this look, feel, taste like?
It makes me think alive.
Natural.
Growing.
Following predictable rhythms.
But with variation and moments of unpredictability.
Hopeful.
Beautiful.
Strong.
Delicate.

Mechanical seems to evoke the exact opposite sort of words:
Cold.
Hard.
Dead.
Rigid.
Unchanging.
Unfeeling.

So what would it look like for our churches to be places of organic life?

What kinds of conditions are vital for organic life in the faith community? What kinds of structures?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

a must listen podcast

2008-03-27T15:58:00.002-04:00

matt & i have been listening to the fermi podcasts lately. crazy name, i know, but fermi project is doing some sweet stuff with bringing key cultural influencers together to talk about how the church can be engaging & bringing good to our world. they do a periodic podcast you can subscribe to--interviews with some movers & shakers of our day. people who are engaging the world around them and being kingdom bringers in creative ways.

i highly recommend it.

you can check out more of what their doing and also get to the podcast through their web site:

www.fermiproject.com

Creating Culture

2008-03-18T08:55:00.002-04:00

Matt & I hopped on the train to NYC Friday to spend two days celebrating Matt's birthday. We both love taking trains, so this was a super fun experience all by itself. There's just something about having hours to watch scenery go by, think, read, watch movies. They just feel so adventurous. So romantic (and not in the guy/girl sort of way).

So Friday night we went to see the Blue Man Group live at their Astor Place Theater (first theater they ever performed in!). Seeing them was a dream of Matt's, so he was stoked, and I was pretty excited myself. They are this peculiar blend of band/comedians/artists/culture commentators. It is BEAUTIFUL. The creativity literally makes me cry as they bring beauty, reflection, and creation to the work around them. It's something that resonates deep inside of me.

Maybe because this is what we are all called to: to bring our unique art to the world around us. To not just react to things, but to create what we desire and hope for. To be fully engaged in the culture we find ourselves in, but reflecting on it, responding to it.

What is your art? Are you creating the culture you want to see rather than just reacting to what you don't want to see? How are you doing this?

It would take a while to put words to it, but it's amazing.

If you want to read about all our other super fun adventures trekking around the city, I'll let you read Matt's extensive blogs on it, complete with pics. His blog is the "matt" one in my links.

Hilarious story involving taxes & a puppy

2008-03-13T08:13:00.001-04:00

Matt blogged about it, so I won't duplicate the entry--picture of the evidence and all. Check it out! http://ponderingloudly.blogspot.com/

Tribute to an Honest Person

2008-03-11T16:46:00.002-04:00

There's a guy I know who continues to inspire me with his raw & genuine faith. I just wanted to say thanks and tribute him for it:

Thank you, Peter.

Thanks for always being yourself w/out hesitation.
Without fear of judgement.
Without fear of what "looks good".

Thanks for really engaging your faith.
For not giving pat answers.
For not being content w/ status quo.

Thanks for asking good questions.
Questions that don't have easy answers.
Questions that make us all think.

Thanks, Peter, for being honest--you add some good to the world around you for it.

Itching for Spring

2008-03-06T16:15:00.002-05:00

so i was in georgia last weekend visiting with family. it was in the 70s saturday. beautiful. mild. clusters of daffodils were bright yellow all over, and a few cherry trees were coming out with their cloud of blossoms.

i'm officially ready for spring now.

so i broke out the flip-flops yesterday,and opened the sun roof today, enjoying the milder weather that seems to be on its way here as well.

i can't wait to get out in the garden!

Creativity Amazes Me Once Again

2008-02-25T16:36:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I come across something that just makes me smile because the human ability for creativity is such a beautiful thing. Maybe I shouldn't just say it's a human ability. Maybe I should say it's a divine echo...I came across one of these today-enjoy :)

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/windowsmusic

is your neighborhood better because you live there?

2008-02-22T09:20:00.001-05:00

a good friend of ours often talks about how our neighborhoods and communities should be better places because we live there.

would they be sad if we left?

the other day i experienced a little bit of what this could look like. it had snowed a few inches, so as i started shoveling, i decided to go ahead and shovel out the neighbors on either side of our house. on one side is a fun family with several kids that we know would be there for us if we ever needed anything. they've already proven that. so it was nice just to surprise them with something nice back and secretly hope they would like us for it (i know awful motivation). on the other side of us is an elderly couple. they are characters and a lot of fun to talk to. i decided to shovel their steps and sidewalk because i figured they could use the help. a few minutes after matt came out and joined in, barney, our elderly neighbor caught us shoveling his steps and came out on his porch. he brought salt to start salting, and as we worked he commented "it's nice to have neighbors like this".

such a small comment, but huge implications i think.

i don't say any of this as kudos to me--i'm the same person who just a few weeks ago sat on my butt in my nice warm living room while matt was out in freezing temps and biting wind changing a flat tire for sally, our neighbor across the street. i definitely have my moments of selfishness.

but when we take the time to do things to love our neighbors, we show them a little bit of jesus and bring a little bit of god's kingdom to our communities.

i wonder if barney would miss us if we moved?

1st run back

2008-02-22T09:15:00.000-05:00

well, i'm back @ running officially. zuri & i hit the sidewalks this morn at 7:30 and logged a very modest 1.55 miles. not much, but a start. she acts like she didn't run at all, but i'm sure i'll feel a few twinges tomorrow. regardless, it was a beautiful snowy morning. delightful.

if any of you are runners, check out www.mapmyrun.com. you can map out exactly how far you ran by clicking through your route on a map--sweet! no more driving routes or guessing to figure out how far i'm going. :)

You are my witness

2008-02-21T09:39:00.000-05:00

Okay everyone, I've been wanting to start running again for a few months now, but have continued to put it off. I miss it, need it for my heart, and know that my 6 month old puppy needs it too. SO, you all are officially my witnesses that I am starting tomorrow morning. Ask me about it next time you talk to me. :)

This will be a great time anyway since 1) It's beautiful outside with the freshly fallen snow and 2) Lancaster's annual Race Against Racism is only 2 months away on April 26th, and I'm looking forward to running in it this year. If any of you want to run it with me or volunteer for it, holler!

Valentine's

2008-02-14T09:23:00.001-05:00

Matt & I debated what to do today together--we were talking about going to a fancy schmancy dinner, but then decided to just spend time together over take-out chinese & a movie night. We'll splurge & pay the extreme extortion theaters charge for popcorn & candy. :)

Hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day--make sure you tell someone in your life how much you love them!

There's something deep inside of me...

2008-02-04T08:32:00.001-05:00

...That resonates with Obama.

Yes, it is about how he approaches controversial issues with grace, compassion, and a bigger picture view when they aren't so clear cut, but it's also about a gut sort of thing. He is an inspirational leader. He seems like someone who isn't entangled in the politics of it all yet. Someone who has a dream & a heart that extends beyond government and arguments about what political stances are right and which are wrong.

Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas recently was inspired by Obama's speech in New Hampshire, and within a matter of 48 hrs had banded together with friends and produced this song & video.

Regardless of your feelings toward Obama or political affiliations, you should listen to it just for the heart of it that applies to us all:

http://www.dipdive.com/

In Christ, yes we can.

Calling: Remembering the Simplicity

2008-01-27T10:50:00.000-05:00

Calling is a mysterious thing. People talk about it like everyone has one particular thing in life they are destined to do, like you must find this one thing or you’ll miss out on your whole purpose. That you’ll miss out on experiencing life to the fullest.

I’ve always wrestled with my calling in life, with what I was designed to do & be.

I had a dream to open a community center.

I thought about being an opera singer.

I considered going into human services.

I pursued a degree in Family Ministry.

But through it all, I always knew I ultimately had a desire to impact people.

I was in Georgia a few weeks ago over Christmas. One morning, I was driving alone, following my husband as we were driving two cars to his sister’s house. As I cranked Sigur Ros (one of my latest fave listens :) and reflected, a sudden sense of clarity began to emerge from the cloud of questions I have been wrestling with for the last few years.

As a reflected, I recognized a new thread running through the years of my life: a passion for equipping God’s people. A passion not just to make a difference with my life, but to empower others to make a difference and to experience life to the fullest God intended.

My passion for vocational ministry was confirmed once again in my heart & mind, but now I have other questions.

Now I wrestle with wanting to not just have one question answered, but to have them ALL answered. So now I am asking questions like “are there particular areas I am passionate about equipping Christ followers in?” and “are there particular ways I am passionate about & gifted in that I can do this through?”

These are all good questions to ask, but maybe there's a bigger picture that I forget about sometimes. Maybe there's a Person involved I forget about sometimes.

Recently, a gifted executive coach I know made a comment that reminded me of the fact that I don’t have to know the answers to all these questions to experience what God designed me for. He pointed out that this whole idea of calling in relation to vocation and fulfillment really didn’t come about until the last 100 years. Before that, calling was a much broader idea: we are called to love God with everything we are and to love people.

Yes, God designs us with unique gifts, passions, and opportunities. Yes, sometimes God asks us to go a certain direction, but I think people have forgotten that ultimately our purpose in life is not to figure out our exact niche and excel in it. Ultimately our purpose is to love God and love people.

So, I must learn to trust along with everyone else. To trust that even when my direction isn’t clear, God guides our footsteps. To trust the Person rather than my path & my plans.

I don't have all my next steps figured out right now. I'll keep asking those questions, but I'm also reminded to experience the fullness of life God has already placed around me and to live that "to the hilt" as Jim Elliot would say.

A Sad Day in the Neighborhood...

2008-01-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

This mournful post comes three days late.

Last Sunday, Matt, myself, and our housemates shared hours anxiously watching the tv. There were victorious moments that caused me to leap off the couch and squeak shouts of joy despite my bronchitis induced laryngitis. There were other moments of heart-stopping uncertainty and disappointment--most notable the end as the Packers lost to the NY Giants.

None the less, my motto remains....Go Pack!

Process vs. Guilt

2008-01-12T21:08:00.000-05:00

So we all know the time has come and gone for making New Year's resolutions. Inspired by a few friends of mine, I decided I would jump on the "let's blog about resolutions" bandwagon.

Here's my list for this year:

- Get up 2-2.5 hrs before we leave on work days
- Do yoga & walk captain 3x/wk
- Run Zuri 3x/wk
- Take time for reading the news, house chores, and reflection each morning
- Catch up scrapbooking
- Get involved in my community
- Read thru the Bible in a year
- Get to where we are putting money into the checking account as we charge
it on the credit card
- Start our 403b, emergency savings, and regular savings
- Pay off our closing costs loan
- Fence the yard, timber the gardens, and re-roof the house
- Do a trip somewhere with Matt
- Set a rhythm of reading (like 15-30 min before bed each night)
- Take 30 min each weekend to work on training the dogs
- Work toward grad school

But over the last few days a nagging thought has been floating around the back of my mind. The thought that somehow, even though we're only 13 days into January, I've managed to slip up on several already. Now is when you start realizing that you aren't doing so well on them.

So what's the point?

Reflection.

It's a great time to look back on the last year, remember where you've been, and then look ahead and dream about where you want to be. I think taking time to reflect, whether it's on December 31st or every week, is more vital than we realize. Getting caught up in the rush of the day to day is so easy, and before you know it you're 50 and don't know where your life has gone. When we reflect we remember our creator and we catch glimpses of who he is restoring us to. We catch vision for the passions he has uniquely rooted in each of our hearts. We recognize where we are broken. And where we are being healed.

And although it isn't always fun and doesn't always progress the way we think it should, this is a beautiful process.

And the process isn't finished yet.

That's the beauty of it.

So instead of feeling guilty and getting down on yourself, take a minute to reflect on where you have come, on the steps that HAVE been taken. And keep dreaming of the steps to come.

What are you reflecting on these days?

Violence in Kenya

2008-01-07T07:36:00.000-05:00

In case you're like me and don't always keep a close tab on news, Odinga recently won an election in Kenya. However, his competitor Kibaki claims the election was rigged. Riots have now broken out and some tribal violence (Odinga & Kibaki are members of tribes with a history of rivalry) has been incited with death tolls up to 486 today.

Here's a link to check it out some more:
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=4081668

My church sponsors a village in Kenya, along with some 2,000 children there. I don't know yet if they have been affected by this, but please be thinking of and praying for our brothers & sisters in Kenya.

wanted: your thoughts

2007-12-31T18:58:00.000-05:00

what do you all think about how people have been protesting the last few years over places that are using "happy holidays" instead of "merry christmas"?

i have some thoughts on the matter, but would also like to hear your thoughts on the matter instead of just telling you all what i think you should think :)

currently reading

2007-12-24T09:14:00.001-05:00

Freakonomics by Levitt & Dubner
Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas
Walden by Thoreau
The Good News About Injustice by Gary Haugen
Every Woman's Battle by Ethridge & Arterburn
Tough Choices by Carly Fiorina

what are you reading? any you recommend picking up next?

amazing race...and tazers

2007-12-23T23:04:00.001-05:00

so i was with matthew at a family holiday party tonight. toward the end, my uber-social self got partied out and decided to watch the latest episode of the amazing race. after most people had left, the remaining few got sucked into it too. in between and over watching, we chatted back and forth about the game and about the dynamics it brought out in the players. we talked about how the stresses brought out the best and the worst in people.

james, one of the husbands in the family, is a great guy, a self-proclaimed technological illiterate, avid hunter, and down to earth kind of person. he has a way of dropping those hilarious comments that you don't see coming. as we watched the show, he chimed in with one of these. he says, "you know what would really spice up this show? if they gave them all tazers"

i laughed a lot. you're a funny guy james--thanks for making my evening that much brighter! :)

Streak Runners

2007-12-19T15:53:00.000-05:00

So, I read this fascinating article the other day about streak runners like the man in this picture, Robert Kraft. These are runners who have found some motivation within themselves to cause them to run at least 1 continuous mile a day, EVERY day--regardless of health, weather, schedule, or injury.

Here's the article if this sparks your interest:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=streakrun

Although I don't think I'll ever aspire to run every day for years like these streak runners, it did awaken that stirring deep inside me that for some reason loves to run. It's the same stirring that I get about things like digging in the garden, about yoga, about appreciate art & culture, about learning. Like we do so often, I have let the busyness of life draw me away from rhythms of engaging these things I love. Maybe I should start again.

What is your activity that connects with you somewhere deep inside?

keweenaw wilds

2007-12-13T09:40:00.000-05:00

yesterday one of my sister's good friends posted pictures of my homeland--the keweenaw. it is such a wild and wonderful place. something resonated with you deep inside. seeing the pictures brought tears to my eyes as something resonated with me deep inside. it feels like coming home.

i was reminded of a post i made several years ago when i was home on a break from college. i thought i would share it with you all to give you just a tiny glimpse into it's wild beauty:

"it snowed today the fluffier flakes that looked like that fake snow you can buy when it was on the ground. I saw lake superior for the first time since coming home. It was breathtaking coming into view all navy blue green and choppy. the sun set beautifully pastel above it and it was rather wild crashing on the rocks...coming into eagle harbor the water no longer crashed, but gently rolled in with the town looking picturesque and the lighthouse slowly flashing from the rocky point. I spotted the first star, bright in the sky. So bright it was probably not a star but a planet or satellite--i am not good about knowing what all those are...it continued so bright it later reminded me of the Christmas star that proclaimed Jesus’ birth...the rest of the stars came out with wilderness beauty in the black sky. There I saw the big dipper for the first time I remember since going to school. For some reason I never seem to spot it in the sky down there in Georgia. It was hung there huge on the horizon. my heart swells..."